Im currently eating dry cereal, it a sad day when theres no milk for the one time i eat cereal..
Since the last time ive blogged, ive managed to turn 20, get through yet another christmas, and enter 2013!
And the last time i blogged was only 2 weeks ago!
Errr.. one thing that i still havent done are my essays..
I now have 24 hours to complete two 2500 word essays..
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
If i never blog again, assume its cos im dead from the stress.
Why do i do this again?
As if its fun or something..
Its the 3rd of January 2013! :)
Its officially a new year and well, this year, my resolution should be 'put the past behind you and focus on the future.'
I think thats a fair resolution, and i might actually be able to follow through because you know, people hardly ever stick to their resolutions ><"
For me, this year, i want all my friends and family to be happy :)
I would say 'new year, new me' but i think that thats all bullshit..
Like no offence to those who think that they can achieve this, but why wait till the new year to say that?
If you really wanted to change, then youd change without it being the new year right?
Id also like some good grades this year..
Although looking at my track record.. and how my essays are working out atm.. lets face it, that area of my life isnt looking very bright is it?
If it isnt being too greedy God, id like to be skinny ^^"
If theres some miracle where i can eat loads and still be skinny, id love that.
I am so jelly of people who can eat and eat and eat and stay skinny, aka all of my friends T_T
WHAT IS LIFEEE?! T_T
And maybe a few uplifts in the looks area wouldnt hurt either..
I have so many attractive friends, and then theres me.
LOL seriously, what is life, this is getting unfair now T_T
We have all my beautiful best friends, and then theres me, whos like a blob in the corner..
Great, loving life..
Why is it that i still cant get him off my mind bloggy?
Just the thought of him calling my name like he used to, and making me give him kisses, and grabbing my hand straight after letting it go when we had to let go in the street, and giving me cuddles, and getting annoyed when people used to break us up when we were walking..
Eurghh ><"
Just thinking about him doing all that with someone else, who isnt me, kills me.
My heart sinks to the very bottom and i feel like everythings broken.
I wonder when the time comes for him to do those things with someone else, hell think of me?
You know.. cos i was his first girlfriend, and first love, and we were together for quite a while..
Although, having said that i was his first love.. i dunno if thats true..
Seeing as in that stupid letter that will forever haunt my mind, he said that id know when i found true love..
So i guess he hadnt found true love with me..
Had everything hed said all been a lie then?
Or did he really love me
OMG I DUNNO WHAT TO THINK?! ><"
Or is this all just me being a stupid idiot, and naïve for thinking that hed ever think of me again..?
He fb wall'ed me happy birthday..
And if im honest, it kinda upset me.
Facebook wall post is sooo.. impersonal..
So i texted him later that night, saying something along the lines of 'so youre talking to me now? or was it just for my birthday?'
And then before i could see whether it had sent, i deleted our conversation cos i didnt wanna have like an eye sore in my inbox if that made sense?
Well.. i shouldve just dealt with the eye sore, cos i never knew if itd sent or not..
Awkward moments :/
Anyways, i wasnt gonna send it twice.. so i just left it..
And then i proceeded to text him on christmas day.. and then on new years day..
And no replies.
He shouldnt have raised my hopes into thinking he wanted to be friends again if he wasnt gonna follow through..
He told KL1 that he wanted to give us space after he broke up with me.
I get that he wanted to give me space, i get that.
But why did he have to give himself space?
If he broke up with me cos he didnt like me anymore, then why would he need to give himself space..?
Surely he wouldnt need space..
And if he thought that he needed space cos he was scared that hed end up back together with me if we didnt give each other space, then thats just pure stupid, cos even if we were friends, we wouldnt end up back together if he stopped liking me..
So why did we break up?
And if hes over me now (which im pretty sure he is, well at least i assume so..) then why is he still ignoring me now?
Ignoring just a measley text..?
If hes over me, and im obviously trying to show that im starting to be okai with us being friends again, then why wont he text back?
Does that make sense bloggy?
Like, if youre over someone, youre not going to ignore that person who was sucha big part of your life..
Youd text back at least to be like, how are you kinda thing no?
WHAT IS HIS PROBLEM?!
I legitimately dont understand boys bloggy ><"
So once again, i am left in this shitty situation, where i have to continuously fight my own mind into stopping thinking all this stupid stuff.
Oh yeahhh, the other day, XF came over..
I hadnt seen him since.. january 2010..
3 years..
I hadnt seen him throughout the whole time i had been with TC..
Of course i never felt the need to, because i dont think i couldve..
Just because even though hes just my friend, TC would always have the fact that XF was my ex in his head..
Well anyways, i saw him the other day and it was nice catching up with him :)
I was glad i saw him, but thats the thing, i dont think il see him for a while now.
Thats just how our friendship is..
We dont talk for ages, then we talk for a while, and we dont see each other for like years..
LOL what is life?!
But yeahhh, catching up with him was nice, were still really close and its like we saw each other the other day kinda thing.
It wasnt awkward at all! :)
Rightt..
Now that ive finished blogging..
I need to get down to my essays..
This is gonna be fun..
Over and OUTTTTTTTT
♥
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