Its like, rubbing salt on my wounds..
I was completely fine hating you.
Well.. i don't hate you, i could never hate you, but i was completely fine just remembering you in my head and not seeing you on Facebook.
Then this morning, RK asks me how comes i said that you'd blocked your Facebook, so i went to check, and hey presto, there you are, on my Facebook.
You look so happy, so normal..
It made me feel sick to the stomach and my heart felt like it was tryna break my rib cage open and jump outta my chest.
And let me tell you, it really fucking hurts to see you smiling so happily.
How could you be so happy, when I'm completely broken?
Thing is.. Part of me is glad that you're smiling and happy.
Its like, even though this whole thing is you killing me inside again, and again, I'm still not mad at you.
What is this weakness?
What spell have you put no me TC?!
Why can't i get outta it.
If your Facebook is back, does that mean you're back in England?
Or did you just think it'd be funny to suddenly activate your Facebook again after a few weeks of just upping and leaving and completely being a douchebag?!
How could you be so heartless?
I know its not my decision, whether you have a Facebook or not.
But don't go and leave and delete everything, and then just suddenly pop back up.
Fuckkk I'm so frustrated.
This is killing me and the worst part is, you don't even realise.
I hate you, and i love you.
What is this controversy? :(
Today was D DAY! Aka day i had to hand in my assignments!
BUTTTTTTT.. I HAVE HANDED IN MY RESIT ASSIGNMENTS!
YESSSSSSSS (Y)
This means summer for me!
Aka a whole month and 2 days until i go to America T_T
WHY SO FAR AWAY OMG?!
So distressed T_T
I WANNA GO NOW, i wanna get away from this shitty country.
Well, theres nothing wrong with the country, i guess i just miss him and this country frigging reminds me of him T_T
WANNA DIE.
ARGHHHHH ipaoaboabgowhiva T_T
But anyways, yeah, i finished my assessments!
YAYYYY!
I didnt start them till last night at like midnight :/
And i finished at 4!
Harhar record and a half!
It was quite good to do actually!
Took my mind off him.
But yeah!
So now every things handed in!
I woke up at 9 this morning to frigging scan some documents in to hand in too, and so I've had about 5 hours sleep..
Saturday, i slept at 5:30, woke up at 10:30.
Friday, i slept at 5, woke up at 9
Thursday, i slept at 5:30 and woke up at 11.
I have not had a proper nights sleep for soooo long.
And it is seriously catching up with me!
I have eye bags as big as PANDAS!
ITS SO BADDDDDDDDDDD :(
I have work tonight as well..
Cos my uncle wanted a day off..
So great..
Waaaa, but now, after i finish blogging, i shall have some sleep again :D
Okai, so lemme explain why i have been sleeping so late..
My daddy went on holiday on Wedesday, so I've been all alone and scared and ill ><"
So that night was okai, i slept earlier and thought id just forget that i was lonely.
Then on Thursday, after midnight, it was Friday, and it was supposed to me and TC's 21st month together.
So then i didnt sleep for ages cos i was reading and tryna get my mind off it.
Then Friday, kinda leading into saturday, i just didnt sleep cos i don't even know why, cos imma massive gay T_T
I know i know, so sue me T_T
Then Saturday, i had work, omg, i got to work and my uncle suddenly goes: 'can you work late tonight, i wanna leave early.'
I was like what the hell, you could've told me earlier, don't just spring this on me D=
Cos KL, MT, WP, RO and AW were coming over at 10..
Anyways, so then i was like fineeee, KL was there, so i trusted her with my keys anyways.
She came to collect them at around 9 something from Maxime.
Anwyays, so then i got home from work, and we started drinking around 11:30!
We drank until like 2 or something.
If I'm honest, i don't even remember.
This was the first time I've actually been drunk.
I remember pretty much everything, but most of all, i remember my head spinning and feeling sick.
BUT NEVER FEAR, i didnt vom >:] ^^
So yeah, me, WP, MT and RO slept in my parents room, and AW was wrapped around the toilet for a while, throwing up, then he dragged himself to my room.
KL was already conked out at like 2, she was PISSEDDDD, and screaming T_T
And then she threw up on my carpet..
Theres an orange/brown sticky patch on my carpet even though its been vanish oxy actioned D=
GREATTTTTTTTT..
Its the place where i always sit as well, GOOD ONE KL.
It was so good being with my friends though ^^
And no hangover for me either so yay!
Just really bad asian flush at the time ahaaaa.
Right, imma stop talking for now, i needa sleep and forget the whole thing that just happened this morning.
JEEZ, why did i have to go on Facebook?
If i had just emailed my assignment, no going on Facebook, then id be FINE.
WHATS UP WITH MY TIMING?!
You know, this wouldn't even be happening if he hadn't done sucha stupid thing.
Why am i even blaming myself T_T
But no, timing still sucked.
ANYWAYS, goodbye babies!
Over and OUTTTTTTTT
♥
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