240812 ~ ♥

I haven't got these tumblr pictures out since i saved them because i don't know if i had the strength to talk about how they make me feel.

But, whilst I'm sat here, with nothing to do, i might as well find something productive to do.

And maybe getting my feelings out will do me good.

Heres a chance to see how tumblr can represent my feelings so perfectly.

I know that things aren't always exactly as they're written, but my feelings come very close to these statements.

Thank you tumblr :)

Kushandwizdom..

A blog that I've only been following in the past few months.

But damn, lemme tell you, their words, are like, frigging insane.

Like insanely good..

This makes so much sense to me, like, i know, that however much i get over you, il always think 'what if?'

I will always wonder how it would've felt to spend the rest of my life with you even if we started at such a young age.

I know that we don't seem young at the moment, but when i get older, I'm gonna look back at my teenage years and think to myself: 'damn i was young back then.'

I know you don't wanna be with me, and il come to accept that, but wherever life takes us, i will always care and i will always want to know that you're okai.

This made me think about us.

This was like, the epitomy of us.

We've come back to each other three times now.

And God knows we've made mistakes.

We've made mistakes that somehow made us stronger, and made us a better couple.

But this time.. Your mistake is too big a mistake for me to understand.

Well, i can't call it a mistake as such, but i really thought that we were meant for each other.

And this, really was how i felt.

Two words - Gossip Girl.

Another two words - Chuck Bass.

This is like, my motto for love.

I truly believe that there is one person out there for everyone, and that before you die, you'll end up with them, no matter what the period of time is.

You could be unlucky, and only have a minute to express your love.

Or you may be lucky, and have a whole lifetime to express your love.

Either way, i believe that everyone has that one person, the person that they're meant to end up with.

No matter what challenges they face, or what obstacles they come across, they will always get through it in the end.

You told me once, that no matter what happened, wed get through it as long as you had me.

That obviously went out the window the day you decided to up and leave..

But as i say, shit happens, and if something is meant to be, it will be.

These dated posts, are posts from staypozitive.

He is my guru, I'm not even kidding..

He is literally my life guru.

He says things that make so much sense, I'm just sat there astounded by how his words are so close to how i feel..

This is hopefully what I'm going to say to you one day, when I'm over you.

I will some day, be over you, and i will no longer feel the need for you.

Maybe il be like that lady in Tiger Cubs on TVB, it might take like 2 years, or even longer to get over you.

But i never know, it could be a lot less than that.

It could be tomorrow for all i know.

But when the time comes, i know that il be grateful for all the things that have happened between us, and that they will always remain as beautiful memories.

When i saw this post, it reminded me that life isn't always the same.

Things are gonna change and shit can happen.

People have entered, and left my life, and I'm only nineteen.

It made me think about how by the time I'm 20, maybe more people will have come and gone.

By the time i get married, (if I'm lucky enough) il have had a lot more people come and go.

It doesnt mean life is the worst when something changes, these changes could be for the best.

But, know that when you move on, you'll have new stories to take part in, and maybe those are the real ones for you :)

This reminded me so badly of our relationship, just because, for the most part of the school year 11/12, we were a certain distance away from each other.

But i don't think there was a day where i thought the distance was a challenge.

All i knew was that, when the time came for me to see him, i was the happiest girl in this universe.

Just to feel his arms around me giving me a hug to say hi, was the best feeling of the week.

It made me feel like whatever challenge id taken on during that uni week would just be something of the past and that being with him at that moment, was all that mattered.

It is really sad, how we were a big part of each others lives.

And then you just left.

Without so much as a word, just a typed letter..

How could you even possibly do that?

Is that what a human with emotions does?

I cannot figure out for the freaking life of me, what was and is going through your mind.

Maybe soon il find out.

Its so true, isn't it funny?

When you think that you meant something to someone?

And when you find out how wrong you were, how pathetic you feel?

I seriously thought i meant something to you.

Was i being stupid?

Or did i actually feel the right thing?

Was i in a completely different relationship to you?

WHUT?!

Mind fudge..

Complete and utter mind fudge.

How can i go from meaning the world to you, to meaning nothing to you?

K then.

ANYWAYSSS BLOGGY!

You have heard how i feel now :D

And how tumblr helps me figure out my feelings.

After reading these posts on tumblr, i can honestly say, i read them and stare at them for about 3 seconds and I'm like, wow, that is exactly how i describe how i feel some days..

Over and OUTTTTTTTTT

♥