270812 ~ ♥

Fuck.
He honestly just asked me out.
Like, he is sucha sweet guy, and hes so so nice, but i hardly know him..
We met yesterday, it was like 24 hours ago..
And i am really flattered, really i am, but i cant do things that move too fast.
I am a slow paced person, it took me nearly 2 months to admit my own feelings for TC.
Our first kiss was 5 months into our relationship, and we didnt take things to the next level until 11 months into our relationship..
I am very big on relationships, and im really big on sustaining them too.
I dont think il ever find someone like TC, but then again, i never know.

Honestly, HT was soo sweet, and im not saying like, i could never be with him, but its just that, ive known him for about a day..
And already? Asking me out? Really? :/
I dont really get it ><"
Theres nothing special about me, why dyu have to take things so fast?
Its kinda creepy how fast youre taking this..
The phone call we had was really intense and im kinda of freaked out..
I dont wanna offend him, but i do feel like im getting forced into something and thats never good, even as friends.
I said i wasnt properly over TC yet and he still went and asked..
That makes me feel slightly uneasy.

I dont wanna sound ungrateful, cos hes so nice, but just..
Theres a slight chance that after everything TC has done to me, im still in love with him.
And with that state of mind, i cant get into anything too deep.
Its not fair on HT and its not fair on me, because the whole thing would just be a lie.
And i cant do that, its just too difficult.
It would hurt me, and im done letting things hurt me.
It also kinda worries me that hes 24 and hasnt had a relationship longer than 2 months..
Im not judging and saying its a bad thing, but im just surprised, like, would he be able to sustain a relationship..?
He seems quite clingy, and he is already being pretty clingy ><"
OTTOKAEYO?!
EEGOH BUYOOOOOO?!

Whilst i was on the phone to him and laughing, my eye caught sight of TCs little fbc icon on the left of the fb homepage..
My heart dropped and i just stopped laughing.
Nothing seemed funny anymore and i just missed TC with my everything.
I didnt tell you, but JF told me that one time, him and FH were taking the piss outta how in the movie TED, they say that the worst way to get dumped is by letter, and thats how i was dumped.
I didnt know whether to laugh or be offended that they laugh at my pain..
And im not sure whether TC was laughing along with them..
IF he was, then hes a massive dick.
Sometimes, i just wish things were still the way they were.
That we were still the same 'us.'
I remember all the times wed be walking places together, and he'd be holding me hand and kissing my forehead every now and then.
Damnn this shit can be hard..
AISHHH.

It seems i cant move on..
为什么我放唔开你啊?
我真是好辛苦啊, 我怕我受唔都啦
I wish i could move on though, not because i want to get into a new relationship, nothing like that.
But because i dont think my heart can handle anymore of this pain and i want myself to be happy, to be me.

BUT FOR NOW, i needa get some sleep, had 4 hours sleep last night, i think il blog about that tomorrow bloggy!
Il tell you all about my great experiences! :D

Over and OUTTTTTTTTT

♥