Its the 22nd and im at work, same as last months 22nd.
Except this month, it wouldve been our 2 and a half years ><"
2.5 years.. Damnn.. woulda been a long timee
It was totally a masterpiece till you tore it all up huh?
Why dyu go and tear it all up?
Last night i was tryna fall asleep and i kelt thinking about memories that we had..
Like the first time i went to Sheffield to see you and i was on the phone to AS cos you were running late you pooheadd!
And so i was on the phone to her telling her where i was and then i see you walking, well, more like jogging towards me.
You hadda massive smile on your face and i asked you why you were so happy, and you said that it was cos you were all smiley now that i was here.
And that time on bonfire nightt, when we went to watch the fireworks on those steps, and it was cold and windy, but we were both wrapped up all warm and snuggly and we were cuddling and it was the best feeling in the world.
And whenever wed walk together and youd just put out your hand to wait for me to hold it, and whenever id take the tiniest bit of time to hold your hand, youd make a sad face cos you thought i didnt wanna hold your hand.
Haaaa as iff, you silly poo, i loved holding hands with you you numptyy!
Then there was that time i fell asleep on your lap whilst we were watching a movie and you woke me up with kisses ^^
There were so many times where youd make my heart fly and skip beats just with the small things youd do.
And id do small things for you too, like that time i came to Sheffield to surprise you, evenn though you saw through my plan you bumfacee T_T
Remember the kisses we shared? When one of us would blow out and one of us would suck in and it would be our silly but cute kiss?
Those are the memories that i treasure, and yet.. Those are the memories that i wish i could forget because theyre the ones that hurt the most to remember, cos i wish i could keep making those memories with you.
I really, really wish that you wont share these memories with anyone else.
Im not saying dont make memories with anyone else, just please, please dont make the exact same ones..
I dont think i can handle you kissing other girls with the same cute kiss..
That was our kiss.. Our way of being together.. Our way of holding hands.. Our way of hanging out.. Our 'thing'.. It was me and you.. Theyre our memories.
Please dont take them away from me..
I wonder if you were with another girl, whether youd remember everything we used to do and not wanna do it with her cos they were our things..
I dunno.. I just keep remembering everything as 'our thing' and at this rate, im never gonna be able to like anyone else.. Because youre still the one whos stolen and locked away my heart.
What am i doing with my life? *cry*
I want my heart to be set free, i want it to get outta the cage, but it wont leave, its too weak to break free.
I needa miracle to make it strong again.. *sigh*
I wonder if you ever think about me.. Please say you do at least sometimes cos otherwise imma FOOL to think of you..
Even though it obviously cant be helped.. Stupid brain T_T
Its weird.. Whenever i think of the things we did.. Its like i did them with someone who i no longer know, its like a distant memory, and yet i remember it like it happened yesterday.
All these memories cloud my brain, but its like were strangers now, like we dont know each other.
I dont know how to describe it, i think its because we havent seen or talked to each other in so long, and its like whenver i think about how we used to be, its foggy.. And like its with someone i know, but on the other hand, i dont know as well..
I dunno ARGH, i seriously dunno how to put it into words!
I wonder if you feel like that when you think of us..
Or whether you think of us or me at all.. *sigh*
I hate being home for Easter..
Or long holidays..
It sucks cos there are gatherings and i wanna see everyone else but i dont wanna see you, cos i wont know what in the world to say to you, i wont know how to act around you, or even with you in the same room as me.
I know youll avoid me, even though this was all your fault, but if youre over me, then why are you avoiding me? ><"
Why arent we friends?
What have i done?
Please just tell me, cos i cant deal with this anymore.
Why do i feel like i need you in my life?
Ffs Daphne.. Youre so lame.
Its been 10 months and my hearts still so shattered that i dont even know where to start with piecing it all back together.
Tell me how to fix my heart.. Pleasee..
Just help me superglue it back together, im practically begging youu.
This song totally makes me think of you..
In fact, a lotta Lawson songs make me think of you, but this song in particular:
When He Was Mine - Lawson
Everywhere I go
Everything I do
Reminds me of you
Just a picture on the wall
I'm surrounded by it all
Gotta walk before I fall, yeah
Fall out, out on the street
Streetlight, light up for me
So far from where I used to be
When he was mine
Everything was easy
Everything was simple
Never felt so good
When he was mine
I wanted to remember
Never missed a second
Now I wish I could forget
Forget when he was mine, mine, yeah
When he was mine, mine, yeah
What I miss the most
Is talking up all night
We laughed until we cried
Now I'm breaking at the seams
Dropping to my knees
Nothing left of me, no
Like stone turned into dust
My heart wasn't enough
So far from where I used to be
When he was mine
Everything was easy
Everything was simple
Never felt so good
When he was mine
I wanted to remember
Never missed a second
Now I wish I could forget
Forget when he was mine, mine, yeah
When he was mine, mine, yeah
When he was mine
Wonder if he's out there
Wonder where he goes, he goes
Wonder what he's doing
Will I ever know, yeah
Everything was easy
Everything was simple
Never felt so good
When he was mine
I wanted to remember
Never missed a second
Now I wish I could forget
Forget when he was mine, mine, yeah
When he was mine, mine, yeah
I'm down on my knees
Gotta see him, gotta see him, gotta see him, yeah
I tried to forget
But I need him, but I need him, but I need him
I'm down on my knees
Gotta see him, gotta see him, gotta see him
I tried to forget
But I need him, but I need him, but I need him.
When he was mine.
♥
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