Ive only ever got it once and that was the day where i went to TC's last month..
So... Yeah..
Anywaysss, in Bham, you can call em and they'll be there in around 5 minutes..
So i called the taxi service today?
And they were like, they'll be there in 20 minutes hopefully.
I was like.. are you being forreal?!
Now imma have to be super speedy at the bank and do some super speedy money transferring and *CRYYY*
But its okai, i shall soldier onnnn!
Cos i am a soldier.
And my hair is so gross today T_T
But i figured out that il just wash it after work cos i have work.. and I'm seeing AS tomorrow and allow having to wash it again when work makes it dirty anyways, SO YEAH.
The weather is shitty today and is making me feel sad T_T
What is this atrocity?!
Pathetic fallacy yet again?!
But then again, it may be pathetic fallacy daily cos the weather is shit daily.
Seriously, its so crappers.
I miss him so much today, i don't even have a clue why.
All i know is i woke up thinking about our memories, and it just suckeddd to another level.
Like.. how last time i wanted a tattoo outta some tattoo vending machine, you know those fake ones you put on with water?
Hahaha, I'm lame, leave me alone.
And they had one in the cinema and he'd gone in to borrow their toilet, the tramp T_T
Wakkakaka! ^^
And then he came out and i was like, i want oneee, and he was like, you serious? I was like.. nooo.. and he was like, aww beee, and gave me some cutie smile and pulled me close and kissed my forehead ><"
*CRIESSS*
And how he'd always grab my hand and when we were shopping, he'd come up to me and wed walk out the shop together holding hands.
And just all these memories are like.. in my head.
Im thankful for them, but in a way, they're like haunting me.
They hurt me, and make me sad, because however thankful i am for them, its like, something il never have with him again.
And thats truly the worst.
I see all these Tumblr posts and they do truly make me think.
Tumblr is my thinking place you see..
Among many other places right now..
Simply cos there is THAT much that clutters my brain ><"
Was our relationship failing and i didnt realise?
Was i too in love to realise that the love wasn't reciprocated?
Was he being fake all this time?
Maybe if i was skinnier, or prettier, then maybe he'd have wanted to stay?
I dunno, i think irrationally these days, i have no rational thoughts in my head.
My dignity of thoughts has failed me *sigh* :/
The words: 'this is the end for us' will forever haunt me.
I just know it.
Even after I've moved on, and am happy with someone else, these words will still haunt me.
They'll haunt my brain until the day i die.
Not because they're such horrible words, well, they are..
But not cos of that reason, but because i just never wanted to hear them from him.
Even though were not together anymore, he still has a grasp on me and tugs at my heart strings.
Please leave my heart strings alone :(
They can't take it anymore :(
Over and OUTTTTTTTTT
♥
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