Eurgh, imma shit person.
Meh.
Meh.
Saturday 14 May 2011
Sunday 8 May 2011
Saturday 7 May 2011
070511 ♥ x
Sometimes i hate how my best friend is treated.
Ummm... this is gonna sound really rude, but its true.
You know when youre brought up as a kid, your parents tell you to respect adults lalala.
And i do.
I respect adults to a point where its like, theyre flawless people.
I grew up with a mum who was strict and firm but very loving.
Wanting nothing but the best for me.
A dad who has always tried his hardest to give me what i want, however demanding i can be sometimes.
But they have never once stopped supporting me.
They give me ultimate support, which i think is really important.
Whether the matter be school, friends, or boys, they have always been here.
I think that by having these parents, theyve taught me that adults are worth respecting, that despite the times they shout at you and tell you off, they are worth your respect.
My family, not just my mum and dad, i mean, my uncles, aunties, grandparents, they are also people who i respect, they show me respect, help me whenever they can and GIMME FOOD :) haha :)
My nan favours boys over girls, typical chinese old person.
So, us girls, all us girl cousins, we respect her, but not in the same way as we do the others.
We respect her because we have to, not because we want to, theres a difference.
My best friend has two brothers.
Shes the girl in the middle.
Her big brother used to be in a bad place.
Yet she still cares so so much about him.
She looks up to him, as a little sister should do, but im sure she sometimes wonders what shes looking up to.
Her little brother, shes scared is following her footsteps.
Listening to their mum all the time, and having to struggle.
It must be really hard for her, watching someone turn into something that she hates being so much.
I cant say that i know what shes going through, i dont have any siblings, nor do my parents pressure me to a level that hers do.
But i know how hard it must be for her.
Back to the respect thing..
Now dont get me wrong, i have utmost respect for her parents and i think theyve raised an amazing child
But, i gotta ask myself, what am i and what is she respecting?
Cos whenever she texts me, saying how her mum made her cry, my heart breaks a bit.
My best friend, is crying because of the person who is meant to love her the most, yet sometimes i feel that she deserves so much more love.
Is that really mean?
In thinking that?
So following how my parents taught me, to respect adults, i would never disrespect her parents.
But it makes me doubt people.
How you can be like that to your own kid.
I think she feels so helpless sometimes, that she doesnt have a place in this world.
But truth is, everybody has a place in this world, no matter who you are.
She thinks that shes burdening us by crying, thats just who she is, and you cant change someones personality.
If they think that, then they think that...
Thats it, no going back.
You cant alter that.
But i wish she could understand that i would never ever judge her, or think any less of her just because she lets out her emotions.
God knows how many times shes had to hear and see me cry.
I see her smile, and i ask myself, is that real?
I love seeing my friends smile, its one of the best feelings in the world, because you know that the ones you love are happy.
But with her, even though she is my best friend, i gotta ask myself, whether shes really truly happy.
Its true that you can never know what someones thinking, especially when theyre so reserved, but sometimes i just wanna have her open up to me.
Im her best friend, if she cant trust me then whos she supposed to trust?
I completely understand that if she doesnt wanna tell me something, then she doesnt have to tell me, but she feels that she cant.
And thats whats really hard, because once you think that noone will understand you, thats where youre stuck.
KL and KL's dad, is practically my uncle.
Or maybe dad?
Seeing as were practically sisters.
Either way, hes a person who i respect a lot.
I think out of all my friends parents, hes the one i respect the most.
Not only because whenever i go to their house, he gives me food, haha :)
But because he is how a dad should be.
I dunno, obviously in families, there are always issues that outsiders know nothing about.
And i know that he gives KL pressure, that he isnt always supportive, but deep down, he wants whats best for her.
Thing is, with AS' mum, does she want the best for my friend or does she just want herself to be happy?
AS has a job, she studies so much, she gets along with her siblings and she is a responsible person.
How can her mum think that thats not enough?
Ahhh, i dont get people sometimes.
How can she not see how unhappy shes making my best friend?
Sorry if this seems protective and like rude of me.
Cos it really isnt my place to say, im not part of their family.
But i know that my best friend means enough to me for me to not want her to get hurt in any way at all.
Theres only so much pressure a person can take before they break, and when the breaking happens, its not gonna be pretty.
So however rude this post is, i hope it doesnt make her mad at me.
I just want her to be happy.
Argh.
Its hard, to be happy.
Like when youre a kid, you get bullied, and you go home crying, thinking that youve just encountered the worst thing in the world.
Yet now you go through something and its thousands of times worse.
Its like, you were just getting prepared for the future as a kid.
But i guess we just have to prepare ourselves for even more crap to come as we get older.
Cos it just seems to be getting harder and harder.
Over and OUTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT
Ummm... this is gonna sound really rude, but its true.
You know when youre brought up as a kid, your parents tell you to respect adults lalala.
And i do.
I respect adults to a point where its like, theyre flawless people.
I grew up with a mum who was strict and firm but very loving.
Wanting nothing but the best for me.
A dad who has always tried his hardest to give me what i want, however demanding i can be sometimes.
But they have never once stopped supporting me.
They give me ultimate support, which i think is really important.
Whether the matter be school, friends, or boys, they have always been here.
I think that by having these parents, theyve taught me that adults are worth respecting, that despite the times they shout at you and tell you off, they are worth your respect.
My family, not just my mum and dad, i mean, my uncles, aunties, grandparents, they are also people who i respect, they show me respect, help me whenever they can and GIMME FOOD :) haha :)
My nan favours boys over girls, typical chinese old person.
So, us girls, all us girl cousins, we respect her, but not in the same way as we do the others.
We respect her because we have to, not because we want to, theres a difference.
My best friend has two brothers.
Shes the girl in the middle.
Her big brother used to be in a bad place.
Yet she still cares so so much about him.
She looks up to him, as a little sister should do, but im sure she sometimes wonders what shes looking up to.
Her little brother, shes scared is following her footsteps.
Listening to their mum all the time, and having to struggle.
It must be really hard for her, watching someone turn into something that she hates being so much.
I cant say that i know what shes going through, i dont have any siblings, nor do my parents pressure me to a level that hers do.
But i know how hard it must be for her.
Back to the respect thing..
Now dont get me wrong, i have utmost respect for her parents and i think theyve raised an amazing child
But, i gotta ask myself, what am i and what is she respecting?
Cos whenever she texts me, saying how her mum made her cry, my heart breaks a bit.
My best friend, is crying because of the person who is meant to love her the most, yet sometimes i feel that she deserves so much more love.
Is that really mean?
In thinking that?
So following how my parents taught me, to respect adults, i would never disrespect her parents.
But it makes me doubt people.
How you can be like that to your own kid.
I think she feels so helpless sometimes, that she doesnt have a place in this world.
But truth is, everybody has a place in this world, no matter who you are.
She thinks that shes burdening us by crying, thats just who she is, and you cant change someones personality.
If they think that, then they think that...
Thats it, no going back.
You cant alter that.
But i wish she could understand that i would never ever judge her, or think any less of her just because she lets out her emotions.
God knows how many times shes had to hear and see me cry.
I see her smile, and i ask myself, is that real?
I love seeing my friends smile, its one of the best feelings in the world, because you know that the ones you love are happy.
But with her, even though she is my best friend, i gotta ask myself, whether shes really truly happy.
Its true that you can never know what someones thinking, especially when theyre so reserved, but sometimes i just wanna have her open up to me.
Im her best friend, if she cant trust me then whos she supposed to trust?
I completely understand that if she doesnt wanna tell me something, then she doesnt have to tell me, but she feels that she cant.
And thats whats really hard, because once you think that noone will understand you, thats where youre stuck.
KL and KL's dad, is practically my uncle.
Or maybe dad?
Seeing as were practically sisters.
Either way, hes a person who i respect a lot.
I think out of all my friends parents, hes the one i respect the most.
Not only because whenever i go to their house, he gives me food, haha :)
But because he is how a dad should be.
I dunno, obviously in families, there are always issues that outsiders know nothing about.
And i know that he gives KL pressure, that he isnt always supportive, but deep down, he wants whats best for her.
Thing is, with AS' mum, does she want the best for my friend or does she just want herself to be happy?
AS has a job, she studies so much, she gets along with her siblings and she is a responsible person.
How can her mum think that thats not enough?
Ahhh, i dont get people sometimes.
How can she not see how unhappy shes making my best friend?
Sorry if this seems protective and like rude of me.
Cos it really isnt my place to say, im not part of their family.
But i know that my best friend means enough to me for me to not want her to get hurt in any way at all.
Theres only so much pressure a person can take before they break, and when the breaking happens, its not gonna be pretty.
So however rude this post is, i hope it doesnt make her mad at me.
I just want her to be happy.
Argh.
Its hard, to be happy.
Like when youre a kid, you get bullied, and you go home crying, thinking that youve just encountered the worst thing in the world.
Yet now you go through something and its thousands of times worse.
Its like, you were just getting prepared for the future as a kid.
But i guess we just have to prepare ourselves for even more crap to come as we get older.
Cos it just seems to be getting harder and harder.
Over and OUTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT
♥
Posted by : DeeBeeex
Monday 2 May 2011
020511 ♥ x
I havent posted in ages...
I feel like i need to.
I cant believe its may already.
Ive been 18 for like, just over 4 months, how freaking weird is that?
Dunnoes, this is odd!
May '11 already.
Wow.
I havent done like, any revision.
Just allow..
Mmm, i found out the other day from my best freiend that TC read my blog every day...
Like, in the past, which means he knew exactly how I felt.
Its odd how, it doesnt make me mad, or sad, or anything, maybe cos ive decided to put the past behind me.
Like, what happened in the past is in the past and well, now, me and him are just, me and him.
Nothing more, nothing less.
Plus, were pretty perfect, im not gonna lie :)
Uhhh, today, im feeling, i dunno...?
I was in a really good mood this morning, i woke up in TC's arms, and literally, it is never an unamazing moment.
Third time hes stayed over, and yet, its like, when i wake up, and hes next to me, its like, heh ^^
And its like a completely new feeling and a completely new happiness, even though its happened before?
I dunno if that makes sense..
Im probably not making any sense.
I dunno.
Then like, later, AS isnt really texting, in fact, shes not texting at all.
Somethings up.
She says nothings up, but i know it is.
And CS may always be telling me that its bad to overthink and maybe people truly are feeling how they say they are, but, when you know someone so well, you automatically know when somethings not right.
Either way, she clearly didnt wanna say, so i was about to force her.
And how TC's like, talking, but not being like, talky talky.
But i get that sometimes, he wants his own like space :)
So its okai, im just like, cooltingsssss.
Plus, like i said, CS is right.
He always is.
And other people, argh, i just ceebs with them.
Like, i honestly, just why?
I dont understand people, ARGH.
I really just wanna get away from it all and spend time with MT, WP, ST, RO, AW, KL and AC.
It sounds really mean doesnt it?
I dunno, its not meant to!
I do love my friends, i really do.
But i miss my Sma²rk~dw so so much.
I honestly miss them so much.
I got well emotional the other day, i prpoerly like cried cos i missed them so bad.
Stupid right?
Crying cos you miss your friends, i mean, COME ON.
But honestly.
And stupid MT, just frigging liked something about HK on my video from HK
And its like, me and MT lying on the bed and WP's sitting at the end of the bed with the laptop dancing along to Digital Bounce.
And damn, i just miss them so much.
Knowing that Summer 2010 was so so good.
Like, i wanna go back to HK, me, MT and WP having sleepovers like every single frigging day, seeing each other, every day.
It was so good, literally the best.
I dont think ive spent so much time with the same people everyday for so long.
But im not gonna lie, i loved every single day.
Just seeing those videos, i dont think my friends will ever know just how much they mean to me.
They make me laugh, they make me cry (with laughter), theyre here for me.
Take me back please :(
Rarrrrrrrrrrr, i just cant.
Im so freaking emotional.
I miss them so much.
I wanna cry.
I feel really alone at this point, at this moment, i dont know why.
Its like i dont have anyone.
And i know i do, because i have the most amazing boyfriend ever, the best friends, and an amazing daddy.
But i just wanna sit with my Sma²rk~dw and chat, catch up, make noise, i dunno.
Do what we do best, which is just be ourselves and laugh shit loads.
I need them so badly :'(
I miss you.
Over and OUTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT
I feel like i need to.
I cant believe its may already.
Ive been 18 for like, just over 4 months, how freaking weird is that?
Dunnoes, this is odd!
May '11 already.
Wow.
I havent done like, any revision.
Just allow..
Mmm, i found out the other day from my best freiend that TC read my blog every day...
Like, in the past, which means he knew exactly how I felt.
Its odd how, it doesnt make me mad, or sad, or anything, maybe cos ive decided to put the past behind me.
Like, what happened in the past is in the past and well, now, me and him are just, me and him.
Nothing more, nothing less.
Plus, were pretty perfect, im not gonna lie :)
Uhhh, today, im feeling, i dunno...?
I was in a really good mood this morning, i woke up in TC's arms, and literally, it is never an unamazing moment.
Third time hes stayed over, and yet, its like, when i wake up, and hes next to me, its like, heh ^^
And its like a completely new feeling and a completely new happiness, even though its happened before?
I dunno if that makes sense..
Im probably not making any sense.
I dunno.
Then like, later, AS isnt really texting, in fact, shes not texting at all.
Somethings up.
She says nothings up, but i know it is.
And CS may always be telling me that its bad to overthink and maybe people truly are feeling how they say they are, but, when you know someone so well, you automatically know when somethings not right.
Either way, she clearly didnt wanna say, so i was about to force her.
And how TC's like, talking, but not being like, talky talky.
But i get that sometimes, he wants his own like space :)
So its okai, im just like, cooltingsssss.
Plus, like i said, CS is right.
He always is.
And other people, argh, i just ceebs with them.
Like, i honestly, just why?
I dont understand people, ARGH.
I really just wanna get away from it all and spend time with MT, WP, ST, RO, AW, KL and AC.
It sounds really mean doesnt it?
I dunno, its not meant to!
I do love my friends, i really do.
But i miss my Sma²rk~dw so so much.
I honestly miss them so much.
I got well emotional the other day, i prpoerly like cried cos i missed them so bad.
Stupid right?
Crying cos you miss your friends, i mean, COME ON.
But honestly.
And stupid MT, just frigging liked something about HK on my video from HK
And its like, me and MT lying on the bed and WP's sitting at the end of the bed with the laptop dancing along to Digital Bounce.
And damn, i just miss them so much.
Knowing that Summer 2010 was so so good.
Like, i wanna go back to HK, me, MT and WP having sleepovers like every single frigging day, seeing each other, every day.
It was so good, literally the best.
I dont think ive spent so much time with the same people everyday for so long.
But im not gonna lie, i loved every single day.
Just seeing those videos, i dont think my friends will ever know just how much they mean to me.
They make me laugh, they make me cry (with laughter), theyre here for me.
Take me back please :(
Rarrrrrrrrrrr, i just cant.
Im so freaking emotional.
I miss them so much.
I wanna cry.
I feel really alone at this point, at this moment, i dont know why.
Its like i dont have anyone.
And i know i do, because i have the most amazing boyfriend ever, the best friends, and an amazing daddy.
But i just wanna sit with my Sma²rk~dw and chat, catch up, make noise, i dunno.
Do what we do best, which is just be ourselves and laugh shit loads.
I need them so badly :'(
I miss you.
Over and OUTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT
♥
Posted by : DeeBeeex