Wednesday 26 August 2009

25.08.09

Today, i realised something...
It kinda woke me up, not that i didnt realise it before
But today, it was just like a slap in the face

Ive always thought that everything happens for a reason, and that what goes around comes around, but a friend told me today that you can change what is planned for you.
I realised that hes right to a limit, but seeing as its planned for you already, then shouldnt you just do whats planned for you?

Even without someone for me to love in a relationship, there are my friends who i love
They have been there for me throughout...
When i was happy, when i was sad, when i was confused, and every other feeling there is to feel
I wish to thank them all for being so amazing and for just being a part of my life
I dont think they understand how glad i am that i met them and that i cant possibly explain in words or show in actions how much they mean to me

I can say without hesitation, that without them, i would not be the person i am today
I think that everyone changes everyday
Definitely getting older by the second...
Even if you cant feel it, you know that it is happening, and only when you stop to think about it, you dont realise it

Ive also come to realise that the ones who care about you are the ones who support you in everything you do, say or think
The ones who dont give a shit, are the ones you need to seriously reconsider

Earlier this year, i wouldnt think that it was possible to put your trust in people so easily
Last year, I trusted people and i got hurt for it, so i naturally thought that people just couldnt be trusted
I can admit that i trust people too easily, but i have met some amazing people who i have learnt to put my trust into because i know that they are different.

Thinking back to my dad saying that if i could pick it up, i could let it go, the percentage has gone down to 85%
I still stick to the fact that as long as hes happy, then so am i
My friends have said that is it worth living off his happiness?
That if hes never happy then neither will i be?
But i think that this isnt living someone elses happiness, its learning to do what you think right.

Id like to thank people who have stuck by me for so long...
They dont realise that theyre the ones that have made me gain strength in everything i do
When im hurt, they worry about me and stick up for me because thats what real friends do.

"Strangers stab you in the front, a friend stabs you in the back, a boyfriend stabs you in the heart, but best mates are ready with a knife to stab them mother fuckers right back"
Thats how best mates should be, maybe without the violence, but best friends provide you with protection, warmth, safety, trust, honesty and everything else.

"True friendship is like wetting your pants, everyone can see it but only you can feel the true warmth."
Dont go wetting your pants just for that please :D

Thank you to:

Kerry & Kirsty: For always being there throughout everything, without you, i would be incomplete, your not only my friends, your my sisters as well. I love you so so much.

Karmen: For being there, to make me laugh and help me through the tough times. I appreciate you and love you to the moon and back and around and around about infinity times.

Carrie: For being you. If you were any other way, it just wouldnt be the same. Finally converting to PROPER selflessness. I truly love you and you are amazing.

Bianca: For being so lovely to me. You always calm me down, say things that no one else can think of to say and you just listen to me speaking when im upset and you know that i dont really want you to say anything and that i just need comfort. I love you.

Ethan: For being absolutely immense. Suchan amazing person with the biggest heart ever. You are always there to stop my tears and no words can describe just how much i love you. You are so selfless and you hardly ever say a bad thing about anyone. Thank you.

Jordan: For putting up with me. You seem to always be there when im upset. You have never given up on me or left me on my own to cry. You are such a sweet person. Thank you and i love you.

Keith: For honestly being the best gor gor in this world. I am so glad i met you. You are THE great confucious, philosopher, "Dr Seuss". Bedtimes dont even exist with us, with our 10 minute goodbyes. Ily gor gor and thank you for giving me the best advice a gor gor could give. I know i havent known you for long, but your one of the people who i have started trusting a lot recently and you have that trustworthy feel about you. Thank you for everything.

Kacheok: For being my sai low. You are like no other. I am so happy that in my planned life, you are part of it. You are so so sweet, and you never say anything bad about anyone. When i say i dislike someone, you beg to differ and only say nice things. You are the other person who i havent known long and already, i trust you so much. You make me smile all the time just cos your so sweet and im THE proudest jeh jeh in the world..
张翠娃 (L) 张嘉卓 End of.


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Sunday 23 August 2009

23.08.09

Somethings wrong but i dunno what...
Ive only been awake for nearly 2 hours and im already like this
Fuck sake
I have actually had enough of this shit
All this confusion doesnt go well with me
43 days and counting
Over 6 weeks D=
Oml

90%
Its slowly going down
But NINETY PERCENT
Thats a load of CRAP, it really really sucks

Ive got a headache
Not cos of this
Just cos...
My eating and sleeping pattern is so messed
No jokes

Blehhhhh
Anywayyy

Cos Your The Words To My Story
A Song Written For Me
Playing, Somewhere, Somewhere
Cos Your The Words To My Story
The Only One For Me
And Your Somewhere, Out There, Out There
And Il Search For You
Search For You
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22.08.09

Somethings happened
I dont know how to take this as...
Good or bad
Blehhhh

Haagen Daaz has been eaten...
So i guess i can take it as bad? D=
Omgshhhhh

The levels sunk to 90% outta the 100% that was there before
On my scale i mean, not on the entire scale, that would be mental
I wanna rise to the surface quickly
Its driving me insane

My mates have a thing with mentioning him which starts me thinking ><
Cos usually, i wouldve forgotten till they mentioned it
During the day, i think about it about 7 or 8 times
Yeah, thats roughly it

Wow... Getta life =_="
That face is being used too much by me nowadays
It really depresses me..
Emo timesss ¬.¬
LOL

Today. all in all, was a good day though
Hung out with people who i lovee <3
And new friends obviously =]

Karmen.Luong

Bianca.Tam
Keith.Ly
Kacheok.Cheong
Ash.Man
Anthony.Tran
RayRay.Liu
Anthony.Lai
Blake.Fereirra
Kc.Cheong
Ky.Choo
Andrew.Hoang
Troy.Abey

Peter.To
Eric.Wong
Leo.Cheng
Andrew.P
Jimmy.Tham
Iona.Tamagotchi

Masa.Matsunaga
Joey.Huynh


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Friday 21 August 2009

20.08.09

Cried again ><
Why did that happen?!
It was meant to be "no crying from now on"

Ive realised spilling my emotions out on this isnt too good...
People might be reading this ><
Then i look seeleee D=

Whatever, my dad was so sweet to me today
Made me smile when i was crying
Said if i could pick it up, i can let it go
Whenever that happens itll happen
Lets hope its soon
I wanna be able to look back on the past as a happy memory and not something that makes me wanna cry...

He wanted company
Not that my company wouldve meant anything
Not that i mean anything
Just another player practice thing
But i cant let it go
Let it go...
Let it go...
Nope... not working =_="

Whatever
Its nearly 4 in the morning
Imma sleep it off cos allow all this thinking
What its doing to my brain...
It just isnt good


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Monday 17 August 2009

15.08.09 && 17.08.09

Rarrr
15th...
People really need to control their drinks
Its like... if you cant handle it then dont drink
But if you got your sorrows, then drown em

Thanks to Troy, Alex, Amin, Bianca && Reece for being there with me to help <3
And being there till the last minute
Thanks to Reece and Alex especially for being there even after the rest of us sobers left
Love you all to pieces
Janet and Tina... LOL at shoving drinks at me =p
But thank you for tryna help me get my moneys worth (L)

It was a good day actually you know...
The drinkup was fun(ny) But kinda blehhh at the same time ><
Saw some shit that i wouldve preferred not seeing
Sometimes, its better to not see some things than see them tbh

Feelings havent changed, wish that they would...
Its so difficult
People make it out to be so easy when they dont understand
But its so much easier said than done
They dont get the half of it
Until they understand, im so not taking their advice

17th...

Hmmm...
Today was an interesting day
No crying ftw <3
Thinking a lot though
I wonder if theres something that could just take out memory or thoughts from your head...
Cos i would be like.. #1 customer

Kerry and Kirsty came round
Played Big 2...
Added flicks onto it...
Allow it was painful If i get a swollen finger =_="
I SWEAR IMMA GET EM BACK XD

Had some drama today
Meh allowww

Masaaaa; itll all be okai :D
I promise you can be customer #2 for that device
Were not as lucky as Edward Cullen
But hes sexyyy ^^
Itll all get better given time
Sall gonna be good
Even though shit happens
Love you, and Keep strong


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Saturday 15 August 2009

14.08.09

Today was a good day!
Well, when i say a good day, i mean normal/average
Couldve been better
But then what day cant be?

Well, if im completely honest, today wasnt average
It was kinda depressing
So much crying happened
In the middle of traf as well
Fucking hell
Its so stupid
Too much shit happening atm ><


Got bare boyed at a few points today
Dont understand some peoples logic
They either have no logic or are stupid/retarded

Omdz
I love Kacheok <3
Hes so sweet
Bought me a present from holiday!
Hehehe ^^
Was so scary on the train... =s
Was so glad when i got into dads car
Jeeeeez


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Thursday 13 August 2009

13.08.09

IM BACK
Ive missed you guys sooo muchhh
Omgshh
Didnt even know it was possible
Its really weird how ive known some people for sucha short period of time and already, i miss them
Spain was so so good
Tanned like a tanned thing :D
Whatever that is...
Major tan lines though ¬.¬
So UNFAIR
RAWRRRRRRRRRRRRRR ^^
There was like no hot potential there... =_="
What happened to having hot guys there
Italy is the place to be for that <3
But seriously, miss everyone lots
But, im seeing you all tomorrow, so its okai ^^
Horrid Henry is on the tv XD
OML
With Karmen <3
Eating Tuna and Sweetcorn
YUM BUMS
Was bare beef in Spain with families... o.O
And now theres bare beef in England..
Fuck sake.. people just really need to stop tbh
Fish and chips for dinner?
Good times (Y)
Its so good to be back in England...
Karmens goldfish are really weird =s XD
Its weird not having the sun out all the time and being like 30 degrees everyday!
Weather was immense in Spain
Corrrrr (L)
So many asians in one group XD
SO GLAD IM BACKKKK <3
MISSED EVERYONE MAJOR AMOUNTS AND SEE YOU ALL SOON... being tomorrow :D
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Wednesday 5 August 2009

05.08.09

At Karmens!
Its bare good and that
Even though were hardly doing anything ><
SPAIN SPAIN SPAIN in than 14 hours...
OMGSHHH

I miss my mates already =[
Imma send them all a text before i fly :D
EVEN if i am running outta credit and minutes
Having 2 phones really doesnt help anything you knoww

Were about to order pizza
HAHAHA
MEAT COMBO
In some bare manly voice
ORIENTAL EXPRESS?! :D
LOL
Im really happy today

Still not over it, but il get there in my own time...
Own time being how long?
I have no idea... ><

Soon hopefully, or may be il just stay in the same spot and be like okaiii =_="
But as long as hes happy, then so am i =]
Thats all i want

My L.O.V.E

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04.08.09 #2

Bah bah black sheep
Have you any wool?
Yes sir yes sir 3 bags full :D

Theres something wrong with me...
Well... not really ><
But i still think im silly
Somehow, i just cant let go Its so stupid of me
Im meant to be able to let go!
Why cant i?

STUPID STUPID STUPID
MUST.LET.GO =_="
Maybe after my holiday, il be like bleh and forget about it?
Please please lemme forget about it...


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Tuesday 4 August 2009

04.08.09

Its gonna be so good!
Spain i mean...
I still havent packed... o.O
But its cool, Kerry And Kirsty are coming round tonight
Imma miss everyone so so much =[
Apart from Carrie && Karmen obviously
Seeing as im going with them =]

There are paticular people who im gonna miss more than others
But everyone gets that right?
I feel like sucha loserrr
Lamoooo
Stupid twatttt
Rarrrr
Dunno what to dooo

The holiday will relieve all this shizzle
(Y)

K.L, K.L, B.T, E.W, J.F, K.C, K.H,
A.H, K.L, J.T, R.L, A.T, A.M
Gonna miss you all so so much


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03.08.09

shit shit shit

fucked up day
so confused
i dont understand?

im in a good mood :D
no worries
i just dont understand some people
they confuse me to hell and back
why torture me this way?
JAYSUS =_="

and seriously, what is everyones problem?
you really need to calm yourself
its like...
BREATHEEEEE
dont fucking do stupid shit
its soo gayy i swearrr
starting on shit
DIEW

My L.O.V.E



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Sunday 2 August 2009

02.08.09

Tomorrows the day...
Im still so unsure of what to think

Anyway...

Back to today
Its been a good day
Sat around at home all day... boring, but whatever

After yesterday, im really confused?
Im contemplating whether to be worried or not
Its weird that im not actually that nervous
Is that wrong?

Oh man...
Im getting butterflies thinking about it

4 days till Spain

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