To be honest, it just reminds me of you.
Over and OUTTTTTT
Over and OUTTTTTT
♥
Thursday 30 August 2012
Tuesday 28 August 2012
280812 ~ ♥
Happy birthday daddy!
I love you so much and i am so thankful and grateful for everything that youve done for me up till now.
I am a healthy 19 nearly 20 year old!
Thank you daddy for looking after me all the time 24/7 ^^
I will be forever grateful until the day i die.
Daddy, i will always be your little girl, even though im not so little anymore.
I love you, i love you, i love you!
这十九年, 你为我做的事, 我将来一定回报答你的!
多谢你, 爸爸我爱你啊!
Onto another thing, this feeling officially sucks.
Im watching Rooftop Prince atm, and i have another 45 minutes to watch.
I wanna ask HT to stay up with me, because i just like having company, even if it is on the phone :/
But i couldnt do it.
I couldnt ask him.
Why?
Because i used to ask TC to stay up with me and vice versa..
And now i cant seem to say anything i used to say to him, to anyone else, even if i used to say those things to normal friends before i was with him..
I just cant.
I dont even know why?
I just physically cant type or say it out.. AISHHHHHH CHINCHA.
Please just kill me now, things are just so damn difficult T_T
Imma watch this 45 minutes and then sleep T_T
Over and OUTTTTT
I love you so much and i am so thankful and grateful for everything that youve done for me up till now.
I am a healthy 19 nearly 20 year old!
Thank you daddy for looking after me all the time 24/7 ^^
I will be forever grateful until the day i die.
Daddy, i will always be your little girl, even though im not so little anymore.
I love you, i love you, i love you!
这十九年, 你为我做的事, 我将来一定回报答你的!
多谢你, 爸爸我爱你啊!
Onto another thing, this feeling officially sucks.
Im watching Rooftop Prince atm, and i have another 45 minutes to watch.
I wanna ask HT to stay up with me, because i just like having company, even if it is on the phone :/
But i couldnt do it.
I couldnt ask him.
Why?
Because i used to ask TC to stay up with me and vice versa..
And now i cant seem to say anything i used to say to him, to anyone else, even if i used to say those things to normal friends before i was with him..
I just cant.
I dont even know why?
I just physically cant type or say it out.. AISHHHHHH CHINCHA.
Please just kill me now, things are just so damn difficult T_T
Imma watch this 45 minutes and then sleep T_T
Over and OUTTTTT
♥
Monday 27 August 2012
270812 ~ ♥
Fuck.
He honestly just asked me out.
Like, he is sucha sweet guy, and hes so so nice, but i hardly know him..
We met yesterday, it was like 24 hours ago..
And i am really flattered, really i am, but i cant do things that move too fast.
I am a slow paced person, it took me nearly 2 months to admit my own feelings for TC.
Our first kiss was 5 months into our relationship, and we didnt take things to the next level until 11 months into our relationship..
I am very big on relationships, and im really big on sustaining them too.
I dont think il ever find someone like TC, but then again, i never know.
Honestly, HT was soo sweet, and im not saying like, i could never be with him, but its just that, ive known him for about a day..
And already? Asking me out? Really? :/
I dont really get it ><"
Theres nothing special about me, why dyu have to take things so fast?
Its kinda creepy how fast youre taking this..
The phone call we had was really intense and im kinda of freaked out..
I dont wanna offend him, but i do feel like im getting forced into something and thats never good, even as friends.
I said i wasnt properly over TC yet and he still went and asked..
That makes me feel slightly uneasy.
I dont wanna sound ungrateful, cos hes so nice, but just..
Theres a slight chance that after everything TC has done to me, im still in love with him.
And with that state of mind, i cant get into anything too deep.
Its not fair on HT and its not fair on me, because the whole thing would just be a lie.
And i cant do that, its just too difficult.
It would hurt me, and im done letting things hurt me.
It also kinda worries me that hes 24 and hasnt had a relationship longer than 2 months..
Im not judging and saying its a bad thing, but im just surprised, like, would he be able to sustain a relationship..?
He seems quite clingy, and he is already being pretty clingy ><"
OTTOKAEYO?!
EEGOH BUYOOOOOO?!
Whilst i was on the phone to him and laughing, my eye caught sight of TCs little fbc icon on the left of the fb homepage..
My heart dropped and i just stopped laughing.
Nothing seemed funny anymore and i just missed TC with my everything.
I didnt tell you, but JF told me that one time, him and FH were taking the piss outta how in the movie TED, they say that the worst way to get dumped is by letter, and thats how i was dumped.
I didnt know whether to laugh or be offended that they laugh at my pain..
And im not sure whether TC was laughing along with them..
IF he was, then hes a massive dick.
Sometimes, i just wish things were still the way they were.
That we were still the same 'us.'
I remember all the times wed be walking places together, and he'd be holding me hand and kissing my forehead every now and then.
Damnn this shit can be hard..
AISHHH.
It seems i cant move on..
为什么我放唔开你啊?
我真是好辛苦啊, 我怕我受唔都啦
I wish i could move on though, not because i want to get into a new relationship, nothing like that.
But because i dont think my heart can handle anymore of this pain and i want myself to be happy, to be me.
BUT FOR NOW, i needa get some sleep, had 4 hours sleep last night, i think il blog about that tomorrow bloggy!
Il tell you all about my great experiences! :D
Over and OUTTTTTTTTT
He honestly just asked me out.
Like, he is sucha sweet guy, and hes so so nice, but i hardly know him..
We met yesterday, it was like 24 hours ago..
And i am really flattered, really i am, but i cant do things that move too fast.
I am a slow paced person, it took me nearly 2 months to admit my own feelings for TC.
Our first kiss was 5 months into our relationship, and we didnt take things to the next level until 11 months into our relationship..
I am very big on relationships, and im really big on sustaining them too.
I dont think il ever find someone like TC, but then again, i never know.
Honestly, HT was soo sweet, and im not saying like, i could never be with him, but its just that, ive known him for about a day..
And already? Asking me out? Really? :/
I dont really get it ><"
Theres nothing special about me, why dyu have to take things so fast?
Its kinda creepy how fast youre taking this..
The phone call we had was really intense and im kinda of freaked out..
I dont wanna offend him, but i do feel like im getting forced into something and thats never good, even as friends.
I said i wasnt properly over TC yet and he still went and asked..
That makes me feel slightly uneasy.
I dont wanna sound ungrateful, cos hes so nice, but just..
Theres a slight chance that after everything TC has done to me, im still in love with him.
And with that state of mind, i cant get into anything too deep.
Its not fair on HT and its not fair on me, because the whole thing would just be a lie.
And i cant do that, its just too difficult.
It would hurt me, and im done letting things hurt me.
It also kinda worries me that hes 24 and hasnt had a relationship longer than 2 months..
Im not judging and saying its a bad thing, but im just surprised, like, would he be able to sustain a relationship..?
He seems quite clingy, and he is already being pretty clingy ><"
OTTOKAEYO?!
EEGOH BUYOOOOOO?!
Whilst i was on the phone to him and laughing, my eye caught sight of TCs little fbc icon on the left of the fb homepage..
My heart dropped and i just stopped laughing.
Nothing seemed funny anymore and i just missed TC with my everything.
I didnt tell you, but JF told me that one time, him and FH were taking the piss outta how in the movie TED, they say that the worst way to get dumped is by letter, and thats how i was dumped.
I didnt know whether to laugh or be offended that they laugh at my pain..
And im not sure whether TC was laughing along with them..
IF he was, then hes a massive dick.
Sometimes, i just wish things were still the way they were.
That we were still the same 'us.'
I remember all the times wed be walking places together, and he'd be holding me hand and kissing my forehead every now and then.
Damnn this shit can be hard..
AISHHH.
It seems i cant move on..
为什么我放唔开你啊?
我真是好辛苦啊, 我怕我受唔都啦
I wish i could move on though, not because i want to get into a new relationship, nothing like that.
But because i dont think my heart can handle anymore of this pain and i want myself to be happy, to be me.
BUT FOR NOW, i needa get some sleep, had 4 hours sleep last night, i think il blog about that tomorrow bloggy!
Il tell you all about my great experiences! :D
Over and OUTTTTTTTTT
♥
Saturday 25 August 2012
250812 ~ ♥
00:38, another new day!
Another day gone and im still alive! (But im barely breathing?) HAHAHAHAH!
Why did i think for a second that youd reply?
Now ive just embarrassed myself.
But i shouldnt be embarrassed, this is your fault.
Why am i blaming myself? :/
I might JUST have to actually go to the Rita Hora event tomorrow with my LDN famalam! ^^
Dont worry bloggy, not to get drunk and shitsss, you know im not like thattt, im not one to completely drown my sorrows via alcohol!
But it would be good for me to let my hair downn!
ITS AT A GAY CLUB, SO DONT WORRY! :D
Being with my friends is the best medicine :)
I have to face the fact that youre no longer who you used to be with me.
And i think thats the biggest hope i have of getting over you.
Over and OUTTTTTTTTTT
Another day gone and im still alive! (But im barely breathing?) HAHAHAHAH!
Why did i think for a second that youd reply?
Now ive just embarrassed myself.
But i shouldnt be embarrassed, this is your fault.
Why am i blaming myself? :/
I might JUST have to actually go to the Rita Hora event tomorrow with my LDN famalam! ^^
Dont worry bloggy, not to get drunk and shitsss, you know im not like thattt, im not one to completely drown my sorrows via alcohol!
But it would be good for me to let my hair downn!
ITS AT A GAY CLUB, SO DONT WORRY! :D
Being with my friends is the best medicine :)
I have to face the fact that youre no longer who you used to be with me.
And i think thats the biggest hope i have of getting over you.
Over and OUTTTTTTTTTT
♥
Friday 24 August 2012
240812 ~ ♥
Omg bloggy, i am pissed off like mad and fudging upset T_T
I have this thing, where i like to eat my food tidily, and basically, i asked if my dad wanted some pie, and he was like, noo.
So i was like okaii, il just make my own thenn :)
Then when im eating, he asks for some, so i was like, eat this tidily okai, you gotta cut it on the linee! (you know those slits in pies? ahahah)
But yeah.. its my food that youre eating, so its not that much to ask.. ><"
Then he goes: 'youre so damn fussy, no wonder noone wants you.'
What the fuck?
What the actual fuck did i do to you?!
He wasnt even kidding?!
It was some serious tone, like, telling me off for being fussy.
ALLOW YOU.
I didnt even do anything, all i was doing was sharing my food and this is how you repay me T_T
WHAT IS THIS?!
WHAT IS THIS ATROCITY?! T_T
So now im not talking to him and i didnt tidy his dishes, he can tidy his own dishes T_T
Psht.
Over and OUTTTTTTTTTTT
I have this thing, where i like to eat my food tidily, and basically, i asked if my dad wanted some pie, and he was like, noo.
So i was like okaii, il just make my own thenn :)
Then when im eating, he asks for some, so i was like, eat this tidily okai, you gotta cut it on the linee! (you know those slits in pies? ahahah)
But yeah.. its my food that youre eating, so its not that much to ask.. ><"
Then he goes: 'youre so damn fussy, no wonder noone wants you.'
What the fuck?
What the actual fuck did i do to you?!
He wasnt even kidding?!
It was some serious tone, like, telling me off for being fussy.
ALLOW YOU.
I didnt even do anything, all i was doing was sharing my food and this is how you repay me T_T
WHAT IS THIS?!
WHAT IS THIS ATROCITY?! T_T
So now im not talking to him and i didnt tidy his dishes, he can tidy his own dishes T_T
Psht.
Over and OUTTTTTTTTTTT
♥
240812 ~ ♥
I haven't got these tumblr pictures out since i saved them because i don't know if i had the strength to talk about how they make me feel.
But, whilst I'm sat here, with nothing to do, i might as well find something productive to do.
And maybe getting my feelings out will do me good.
Heres a chance to see how tumblr can represent my feelings so perfectly.
I know that things aren't always exactly as they're written, but my feelings come very close to these statements.
Thank you tumblr :)
Kushandwizdom..
A blog that I've only been following in the past few months.
But damn, lemme tell you, their words, are like, frigging insane.
Like insanely good..
This makes so much sense to me, like, i know, that however much i get over you, il always think 'what if?'
I will always wonder how it would've felt to spend the rest of my life with you even if we started at such a young age.
I know that we don't seem young at the moment, but when i get older, I'm gonna look back at my teenage years and think to myself: 'damn i was young back then.'
I know you don't wanna be with me, and il come to accept that, but wherever life takes us, i will always care and i will always want to know that you're okai.
This made me think about us.
This was like, the epitomy of us.
We've come back to each other three times now.
And God knows we've made mistakes.
We've made mistakes that somehow made us stronger, and made us a better couple.
But this time.. Your mistake is too big a mistake for me to understand.
Well, i can't call it a mistake as such, but i really thought that we were meant for each other.
And this, really was how i felt.
Two words - Gossip Girl.
Another two words - Chuck Bass.
This is like, my motto for love.
I truly believe that there is one person out there for everyone, and that before you die, you'll end up with them, no matter what the period of time is.
You could be unlucky, and only have a minute to express your love.
Or you may be lucky, and have a whole lifetime to express your love.
Either way, i believe that everyone has that one person, the person that they're meant to end up with.
No matter what challenges they face, or what obstacles they come across, they will always get through it in the end.
You told me once, that no matter what happened, wed get through it as long as you had me.
That obviously went out the window the day you decided to up and leave..
But as i say, shit happens, and if something is meant to be, it will be.
These dated posts, are posts from staypozitive.
He is my guru, I'm not even kidding..
He is literally my life guru.
He says things that make so much sense, I'm just sat there astounded by how his words are so close to how i feel..
This is hopefully what I'm going to say to you one day, when I'm over you.
I will some day, be over you, and i will no longer feel the need for you.
Maybe il be like that lady in Tiger Cubs on TVB, it might take like 2 years, or even longer to get over you.
But i never know, it could be a lot less than that.
It could be tomorrow for all i know.
But when the time comes, i know that il be grateful for all the things that have happened between us, and that they will always remain as beautiful memories.
When i saw this post, it reminded me that life isn't always the same.
Things are gonna change and shit can happen.
People have entered, and left my life, and I'm only nineteen.
It made me think about how by the time I'm 20, maybe more people will have come and gone.
By the time i get married, (if I'm lucky enough) il have had a lot more people come and go.
It doesnt mean life is the worst when something changes, these changes could be for the best.
But, know that when you move on, you'll have new stories to take part in, and maybe those are the real ones for you :)
This reminded me so badly of our relationship, just because, for the most part of the school year 11/12, we were a certain distance away from each other.
But i don't think there was a day where i thought the distance was a challenge.
All i knew was that, when the time came for me to see him, i was the happiest girl in this universe.
Just to feel his arms around me giving me a hug to say hi, was the best feeling of the week.
It made me feel like whatever challenge id taken on during that uni week would just be something of the past and that being with him at that moment, was all that mattered.
It is really sad, how we were a big part of each others lives.
And then you just left.
Without so much as a word, just a typed letter..
How could you even possibly do that?
Is that what a human with emotions does?
I cannot figure out for the freaking life of me, what was and is going through your mind.
Maybe soon il find out.
Its so true, isn't it funny?
When you think that you meant something to someone?
And when you find out how wrong you were, how pathetic you feel?
I seriously thought i meant something to you.
Was i being stupid?
Or did i actually feel the right thing?
Was i in a completely different relationship to you?
WHUT?!
Mind fudge..
Complete and utter mind fudge.
How can i go from meaning the world to you, to meaning nothing to you?
K then.
ANYWAYSSS BLOGGY!
You have heard how i feel now :D
And how tumblr helps me figure out my feelings.
After reading these posts on tumblr, i can honestly say, i read them and stare at them for about 3 seconds and I'm like, wow, that is exactly how i describe how i feel some days..
Over and OUTTTTTTTTT
♥
240812 ~ ♥
Fackkkk, I've been waiting for this video to upload for like, the past 13 hours T_T
I swear to God, I'm growing a beard as long as Dumbledores whilst i wait!
Whilst I'm sat here waiting, with no dramas, no youtube, no nothing cos my java needs updating and i can't do that until my videos finished uploading..
Im beginning to think, how untrusting I've become recently..
Like, i get so paranoid, so easily..
I just feel like i can't trust people that easily anymore and i start to doubt everyone..
Its weird, because, i can honestly say, i used to be the most trusting person in the world, i wouldn't question things people said twice, and id believe pretty much everything they said about them.
Not in the way that imma dumbass and would follow a stranger T_T
But you get my drift..
I dunno whether to be thankful that I'm not as trusting anymore..
Cos now that I'm not, i just feel paranoid all the frikking time.
IS THIS THE REALITY YOU WANTED?! T_T
Gotta go to the doctors tomorroww, i cannot be fudged, but gotta go ask whats up with my ovaries! D=
Somethings wrong with my ovaries :(
Eegoh buyo, i just thought about it, and what if the pill has killed my ovaries?! D=
Omo, my poor ovaries :'(
Hopefully it'll be okaiss ><"
Then after, I'm going to JWSs for a BBQ with all the others :)
Its gonna be weird hanging out as a group minus TC, like, knowing that i don't want him there, its gonna be weird..
To be honest bloggy, i can bet you that inna few months time, I'm gonna look back on all these posts in the past 3 months, and be like, what the fudge were you thinking being all upset over him?
I can see myself saying that already.
But for now bloggy, let me rant :)
Know that I'm grateful that you're here!
Over and OUTTTTTTTT
I swear to God, I'm growing a beard as long as Dumbledores whilst i wait!
Whilst I'm sat here waiting, with no dramas, no youtube, no nothing cos my java needs updating and i can't do that until my videos finished uploading..
Im beginning to think, how untrusting I've become recently..
Like, i get so paranoid, so easily..
I just feel like i can't trust people that easily anymore and i start to doubt everyone..
Its weird, because, i can honestly say, i used to be the most trusting person in the world, i wouldn't question things people said twice, and id believe pretty much everything they said about them.
Not in the way that imma dumbass and would follow a stranger T_T
But you get my drift..
I dunno whether to be thankful that I'm not as trusting anymore..
Cos now that I'm not, i just feel paranoid all the frikking time.
IS THIS THE REALITY YOU WANTED?! T_T
Gotta go to the doctors tomorroww, i cannot be fudged, but gotta go ask whats up with my ovaries! D=
Somethings wrong with my ovaries :(
Eegoh buyo, i just thought about it, and what if the pill has killed my ovaries?! D=
Omo, my poor ovaries :'(
Hopefully it'll be okaiss ><"
Then after, I'm going to JWSs for a BBQ with all the others :)
Its gonna be weird hanging out as a group minus TC, like, knowing that i don't want him there, its gonna be weird..
To be honest bloggy, i can bet you that inna few months time, I'm gonna look back on all these posts in the past 3 months, and be like, what the fudge were you thinking being all upset over him?
I can see myself saying that already.
But for now bloggy, let me rant :)
Know that I'm grateful that you're here!
Over and OUTTTTTTTT
♥
Thursday 23 August 2012
230812 ～ ♥
又过了一日啦
其实你有什么理由可以怎么唔开心啊?
张翠娃你点可以这样对你自己?
好心你唔好再傻啦
他以经一早放下你啦
他一早唔要你啦
醒下啦
我对你真是好失望.
Over and OUTTTTTTT
其实你有什么理由可以怎么唔开心啊?
张翠娃你点可以这样对你自己?
好心你唔好再傻啦
他以经一早放下你啦
他一早唔要你啦
醒下啦
我对你真是好失望.
Over and OUTTTTTTT
♥
Dear Future Boyfriend - 230812 ~ ♥
Dear future boyfriend,
In the future, no matter how hard i am to deal with, no matter how difficult times get, no matter how deep our arguments are, and no matter how much you think that i don't love you anymore cos you did something a bit stupid, (=p) il always be right next to you to get through it with you.
No matter what other people say, i will trust in you, and believe in you.
No matter how we fight, il always want to fix it.
No matter how i cry, maybe over an argument that we've had, il always want you there, to hug and hold me tight and kiss my forehead, and tell me its gonna be okai.
No matter how mad i seem at you, i will always tell you i love you, and il always, always want you to tell me you love me.
And for every day that i don't see you, il be missing you and thinking of you, and hoping that you'll be doing the same.
I once had a boyfriend not long ago, who told me that he when he'd had a busy day and hadn't texted me much, he'd been thinking of me the whole day and that i was always in his heart.
I believed him, and whether he meant it or not, i don't know.
But if i say it to you, il mean it.
I promise.
Il be there when were having good times, and il stay there when were having bad times.
Il always be there to cheer you up, and il try my hardest not to let you down.
And if i do let you down, i will do all i can to make it up to you, to make sure you know that i still love you, no matter what mistake i made.
I won't lie, il tell you when i think you're wrong, but i will always support you, after letting you know my opinion.
I will love you with all my heart, every day, forever and always.
And when i say forever and always, i mean it.
This is how i was in my previous relationship, well, I've only ever had one serious, serious relationship.
But not because I'm the same with every boy I'm with, but because this is who i am.
This is me.
But when I'm with you, it will be YOU that I'm feeling these things for.
And i promise that il only love you.
So if you're willing to work for us, and fight for us, then I'm willing to do the same.
And i promise il stay and i won't leave you on your own.
Welcome to my world :)
I won't be leaving you with empty promises, i promise!
From, your future girlfriend.
In the future, no matter how hard i am to deal with, no matter how difficult times get, no matter how deep our arguments are, and no matter how much you think that i don't love you anymore cos you did something a bit stupid, (=p) il always be right next to you to get through it with you.
No matter what other people say, i will trust in you, and believe in you.
No matter how we fight, il always want to fix it.
No matter how i cry, maybe over an argument that we've had, il always want you there, to hug and hold me tight and kiss my forehead, and tell me its gonna be okai.
No matter how mad i seem at you, i will always tell you i love you, and il always, always want you to tell me you love me.
And for every day that i don't see you, il be missing you and thinking of you, and hoping that you'll be doing the same.
I once had a boyfriend not long ago, who told me that he when he'd had a busy day and hadn't texted me much, he'd been thinking of me the whole day and that i was always in his heart.
I believed him, and whether he meant it or not, i don't know.
But if i say it to you, il mean it.
I promise.
Il be there when were having good times, and il stay there when were having bad times.
Il always be there to cheer you up, and il try my hardest not to let you down.
And if i do let you down, i will do all i can to make it up to you, to make sure you know that i still love you, no matter what mistake i made.
I won't lie, il tell you when i think you're wrong, but i will always support you, after letting you know my opinion.
I will love you with all my heart, every day, forever and always.
And when i say forever and always, i mean it.
This is how i was in my previous relationship, well, I've only ever had one serious, serious relationship.
But not because I'm the same with every boy I'm with, but because this is who i am.
This is me.
But when I'm with you, it will be YOU that I'm feeling these things for.
And i promise that il only love you.
So if you're willing to work for us, and fight for us, then I'm willing to do the same.
And i promise il stay and i won't leave you on your own.
Welcome to my world :)
I won't be leaving you with empty promises, i promise!
From, your future girlfriend.
♥
230812 ~ ♥
Im looking at train tickets atm, cos i wanna go visit CT in southampton..
But going on that website, seriously brings back freaking memories bloggy!
Last year, i spent around £20 every two weeks, thats about £100 every 2 months, just on tickets to go see him.
Of course, he spent that money coming to see me as well, but what i mean is, we both spent that much money on each other, to see each other, to spend time together, and now, everythigns gone..
And worst of all, he doesnt even care, I'm just someone he wasted his money on.
Whereas i don't actually regret it, in fact, I'm glad i spent my loan, cos i got to see him every week, and it made me the happiest girl in the world.
Im kinda just sorry that i didnt make him the happiest boy in the world..
No doubt I'm not gonna be able to sleep tonight AGAIN.
Last night, i couldn't sleep and was rolling around in bed for about an hour.
Memories always flash back at the most unwelcome times ever.
SCREW YOU MEMORIESSS :(
Well.. I'm glad i have you, cos they made me happys beforeee..
WHY YOU MAKE ME SAD AND NOT ABLE TO SLEEP?!
WHY YOU GIVE ME BAD SLEEP?! :(
Just to say, i bought some stuffs on ebay for uni bloggy!
My mammy bought me a toothbrush holder, thats a foot..
And you clip your toothbrush between the toes..
LOLLL, oh my god, i hate toes..
AND SHE KNOWS THAT T_T
Anyways, i gotta new hello kitty panda toothbrush holder! ^^
Imma leave the toe one for the use at home LOOOL >:]
Then i got some contact cases, cos i got those cutie contacts!
Well.. they make the insides of my eyes look really big o.O
My eyes are actually quite big already, so now they look really massive ><"
But i don't wear them all the timeee, its just for funsies when I'm feeling bored!
But yeah, the cases are so cutee :)
Then i got an ice lolly maker, cos its boiling hot and they're bunny rabbits!
Mmm.. I got some steam eye masks, cos i get stressed and cry lots sometimes T_T
So then i can use them :D
Lastly, i got a new phone caseee, its sucha cute winnie the pooh one!
Don't worry bloggy, i didnt spend too much moneys!
I know that if i was still with TC, he'd say, 'bee, stop wasting your moneysss, you have so much stuff already.'
BUTTT, were not together anymore, i don't have to listen to him, although it does make me feel bad when i hear his voice in my head ><"
BUTTT, his voice won't be in my head for much longer, it'll stop having an effect on me soon ^^
SOOO, new stuffs, here i come, il make sure i limit myself though bloggy, imma good girl after all, and i won't put all my moneys to waste! :)
Il save up for when i get with the oneee, and well spend our moneys on each other ^^
Kinda like me and TC used to.. But this time, it'll be with someone who's gnona stay.
Over and OUTTTTTTT
But going on that website, seriously brings back freaking memories bloggy!
Last year, i spent around £20 every two weeks, thats about £100 every 2 months, just on tickets to go see him.
Of course, he spent that money coming to see me as well, but what i mean is, we both spent that much money on each other, to see each other, to spend time together, and now, everythigns gone..
And worst of all, he doesnt even care, I'm just someone he wasted his money on.
Whereas i don't actually regret it, in fact, I'm glad i spent my loan, cos i got to see him every week, and it made me the happiest girl in the world.
Im kinda just sorry that i didnt make him the happiest boy in the world..
No doubt I'm not gonna be able to sleep tonight AGAIN.
Last night, i couldn't sleep and was rolling around in bed for about an hour.
Memories always flash back at the most unwelcome times ever.
SCREW YOU MEMORIESSS :(
Well.. I'm glad i have you, cos they made me happys beforeee..
WHY YOU MAKE ME SAD AND NOT ABLE TO SLEEP?!
WHY YOU GIVE ME BAD SLEEP?! :(
Just to say, i bought some stuffs on ebay for uni bloggy!
My mammy bought me a toothbrush holder, thats a foot..
And you clip your toothbrush between the toes..
LOLLL, oh my god, i hate toes..
AND SHE KNOWS THAT T_T
Anyways, i gotta new hello kitty panda toothbrush holder! ^^
Imma leave the toe one for the use at home LOOOL >:]
Then i got some contact cases, cos i got those cutie contacts!
Well.. they make the insides of my eyes look really big o.O
My eyes are actually quite big already, so now they look really massive ><"
But i don't wear them all the timeee, its just for funsies when I'm feeling bored!
But yeah, the cases are so cutee :)
Then i got an ice lolly maker, cos its boiling hot and they're bunny rabbits!
Mmm.. I got some steam eye masks, cos i get stressed and cry lots sometimes T_T
So then i can use them :D
Lastly, i got a new phone caseee, its sucha cute winnie the pooh one!
Don't worry bloggy, i didnt spend too much moneys!
I know that if i was still with TC, he'd say, 'bee, stop wasting your moneysss, you have so much stuff already.'
BUTTT, were not together anymore, i don't have to listen to him, although it does make me feel bad when i hear his voice in my head ><"
BUTTT, his voice won't be in my head for much longer, it'll stop having an effect on me soon ^^
SOOO, new stuffs, here i come, il make sure i limit myself though bloggy, imma good girl after all, and i won't put all my moneys to waste! :)
Il save up for when i get with the oneee, and well spend our moneys on each other ^^
Kinda like me and TC used to.. But this time, it'll be with someone who's gnona stay.
Over and OUTTTTTTT
♥
230812 ~ ♥
Its no longer than the 22nd, another day has passed :)
This also means the start of a new day! ^^
YAYAYAY!
Less than a month until my second year of uni..
I can't believe that I'm about to start my second year already..
It feels like yesterday that i was getting ready to start my very first day of university..
This new path of my life..
But now, theres less than a month until it starts, and yet, it feels like theres still a year to wait..
Maybe last year the time went faster, because i was with TC, and i was dreading uni in a way because i didnt wanna miss him too badly.
And last year, uni went so quickly cos i saw him all the time.
But this year?
Im looking forward to uni because its something to get away from home, where everything reminds me of him.
But i dunno how I'm gonna feel when i get to uni :/
Its gonna be hard not seeing him every weekend.
Im gonna need time to adjust to it..
Noone knows whats gonna happen in the future, but I'm pretty sure that he no longer loves me..
I dunno..
He gives me complete mind fudge and turns my brain to mush.
Il be stronger soon :)
Over and OUTTTTTTTTTT
This also means the start of a new day! ^^
YAYAYAY!
Less than a month until my second year of uni..
I can't believe that I'm about to start my second year already..
It feels like yesterday that i was getting ready to start my very first day of university..
This new path of my life..
But now, theres less than a month until it starts, and yet, it feels like theres still a year to wait..
Maybe last year the time went faster, because i was with TC, and i was dreading uni in a way because i didnt wanna miss him too badly.
And last year, uni went so quickly cos i saw him all the time.
But this year?
Im looking forward to uni because its something to get away from home, where everything reminds me of him.
But i dunno how I'm gonna feel when i get to uni :/
Its gonna be hard not seeing him every weekend.
Im gonna need time to adjust to it..
Noone knows whats gonna happen in the future, but I'm pretty sure that he no longer loves me..
I dunno..
He gives me complete mind fudge and turns my brain to mush.
Il be stronger soon :)
Over and OUTTTTTTTTTT
♥
Wednesday 22 August 2012
220812 ~ ♥
It would've been our 23rd month today, one month away from 2 years.
2 fudging years.
I wish i didnt remember.
But the 22nd was our date.
It was the date that everything always happened for us.
Its been nearly 3 months since you shattered my heart, and yet, i still think about it.
What is up with me? T_T
I wonder if you still think about it when this date comes, or whether its just me.
I get it, you've probably gotta new girl, which is why you told me that when i find true love, il know.
Because you probably found it with someone else.
But to me, you're always gonna be my first love.
You're always be the one who was my everything.
Maybe someday, il remember less.
Over and OUTTTTTTTT
2 fudging years.
I wish i didnt remember.
But the 22nd was our date.
It was the date that everything always happened for us.
Its been nearly 3 months since you shattered my heart, and yet, i still think about it.
What is up with me? T_T
I wonder if you still think about it when this date comes, or whether its just me.
I get it, you've probably gotta new girl, which is why you told me that when i find true love, il know.
Because you probably found it with someone else.
But to me, you're always gonna be my first love.
You're always be the one who was my everything.
Maybe someday, il remember less.
Over and OUTTTTTTTT
♥
Tuesday 21 August 2012
210812 ~ ♥
I have so much on my mind right now bloggy, but i think i am literally, too tired to type everything i have on my mind, out.
Like, theres stuff that i plan in my head, to tell you, because its just in my heart, and i need to get it out.
But ever have those days where you just feel like, you can't get things out?
Soon bloggy :)
Im going to Thorpe Park tomorrow, i actually ceebs..
Buttt, what can you do when someone wants you to go with them? AISHHHHH.
In 43 minutes, it would've been me and TC's 23rd month together, one month from 2 years.
I honestly, swear to God, hate this day.
The 22nd is the worst date of my life.
I wanna cry T_T
BUT I SHALL BE BRAVEEE, and for now, imma watch a drama! ^^
Over and OUTTTT
Like, theres stuff that i plan in my head, to tell you, because its just in my heart, and i need to get it out.
But ever have those days where you just feel like, you can't get things out?
Soon bloggy :)
Im going to Thorpe Park tomorrow, i actually ceebs..
Buttt, what can you do when someone wants you to go with them? AISHHHHH.
In 43 minutes, it would've been me and TC's 23rd month together, one month from 2 years.
I honestly, swear to God, hate this day.
The 22nd is the worst date of my life.
I wanna cry T_T
BUT I SHALL BE BRAVEEE, and for now, imma watch a drama! ^^
Over and OUTTTT
♥
Saturday 18 August 2012
180812 ~ ♥
我根本有口话人, 没有口话自己
跟别人说: 唔好唔开心, 没有人喜欢他不要唔开心
但是, 我其实为了人唔喜欢我, 都觉得好唔开心
你话是唔是有口话人没有口话自己了?
Over and OUTTTTTTTTT
跟别人说: 唔好唔开心, 没有人喜欢他不要唔开心
但是, 我其实为了人唔喜欢我, 都觉得好唔开心
你话是唔是有口话人没有口话自己了?
Over and OUTTTTTTTTT
♥
180812 ~ ♥
我个朋友跟我说: 她唔想她的前男友怎么快唔喜欢她
我就跟她说: 如果他怎么快不喜欢你, 你就唔应该为他唔开心了
但是, 我虽然口口声声跟她说这句话, 其实我个心都是想一样的东西
我都唔想他忘记我, 也唔想他以经有新的女仔
但是, 我可以怎么办?
他的事以经唔是我的事啦
我常常跟她说: 不要怕, 唔会有事
但是, 我在说这些说话的时候, 我会好唔开心, 因为我知道我个前男朋友以经忘记了我.
其实真是好辛苦
Over and OUTTTTTTT
我就跟她说: 如果他怎么快不喜欢你, 你就唔应该为他唔开心了
但是, 我虽然口口声声跟她说这句话, 其实我个心都是想一样的东西
我都唔想他忘记我, 也唔想他以经有新的女仔
但是, 我可以怎么办?
他的事以经唔是我的事啦
我常常跟她说: 不要怕, 唔会有事
但是, 我在说这些说话的时候, 我会好唔开心, 因为我知道我个前男朋友以经忘记了我.
其实真是好辛苦
Over and OUTTTTTTT
♥
180812 ~ ♥
Beautiful sunrise view from my bedroom ^^
Still jet lagged like madd, its nearly 6am now!
05:46 to be exact :)
Im watching moonlight resonance! :D
See the picture above bloggy?
I learnt how to use my 360 panorama app on my phone properly!
Thats why you can see my phone in the window reflection =p
Whateverr, the reflection of the phone doesnt matter, the view still makes me happy!
Views like this make me smile.
Views like this make me appreciate all the good things in life.
Views like this make me feel like the world is a better place.
Views like this make me think about how lucky i am to be able to see these things.
Views like this make me less sad and gives me hope that there are beautiful things out there waiting for me.
Wait for me world, I'm coming :)
Over and OUTTTTTTTT
♥
 Im watching moonli...){kind=link}
Friday 17 August 2012
170812 ~ ♥
Soon.
You had me, and you lost me.
No, you didnt lose me, you pushed me away.
You ditched me.
But you still blew your chances, and soon, there'll be no more waiting, no more hurt.
And there'll be moving on.
Over and OUTTTTTTT
♥
170812 ~ ♥
Fudge thissssss.
WHY CANT I SLEEP?!
Why the hell am i so damned jet lagged?!
I want to sleep, i wanna frigging SLEEP.
The more i can't sleep, the more i think about stuff :(
Whys noone jet lagged with me? :(
The past 3 weeks, I've been with my cousins, i haven't had time to think about stuff this much, and even when i did have time, when i was about to sleep, id be with HC in our room, so i wouldn't be thinking about it.
SCREW THISSS.
He's gone on holiday again apparently..
He's back in a few days.
I don't want to see him.
Ever again.
Fuck.
Over and OUTTTTTTTT
WHY CANT I SLEEP?!
Why the hell am i so damned jet lagged?!
I want to sleep, i wanna frigging SLEEP.
The more i can't sleep, the more i think about stuff :(
Whys noone jet lagged with me? :(
The past 3 weeks, I've been with my cousins, i haven't had time to think about stuff this much, and even when i did have time, when i was about to sleep, id be with HC in our room, so i wouldn't be thinking about it.
SCREW THISSS.
He's gone on holiday again apparently..
He's back in a few days.
I don't want to see him.
Ever again.
Fuck.
Over and OUTTTTTTTT
♥
170812 ~ ♥
Bloggyyy, i just got home! :)
ITS SO GREAT TO BE HOMEEEE :D
Well, like an hour ago, but yeah, still!
It is my cousin HC's birthday today!
Wish her a happy birthday bloggy!
Cant believe she's 16 already!
Time seriously flies byyyy :/
I am currently jet lagged..
Kill me now please T_T
Im currently 8 hours in the past..
AKA, i shouldn't be sleeping till about 9am D=
Another nearly 8 hours to go pahahah ><"
I have so much to unpack, and a hella load of clothes to wash :/
I kinda wish i hadn't bought that much, but SHIFT HAPPENS! :D (This is a joke between me and my cousins >:])
My dads gone to sleep already, and he hasn't left me any space in his bed T_T
Which means i should be sleeping in my own bed, but 1) the sheets haven't been washed, 2) i don't want to, and 3) i don't think i can, not just yet anyways..
Give me a little more time please ><"
Guess I'm sleeping on the sofa tonight!
Guess I'm sleeping on the sofa tonight!
I know its pathetic of me, but its hard.
Its really hard, and i wish i could change that, but i can't :/
Today, i was on the phone to KL#1, and we were saying its weird how much people can change.
And then she said something, that made me think.
She said: 'maybe he's still the same person, but just not to us. Maybe he doesnt want to be the same person to us anymore'
No guesses who were were talking about..
Anywayss, that makes sense, and i get that.
But.. After all that we've done for each other, and after everything we've been through, i didnt think that that would change.
After all that id helped him get through this year..
I get it all thrown back in my face and m heart gets crumbled to pieces.
After all that id helped him get through this year..
I get it all thrown back in my face and m heart gets crumbled to pieces.
I really thought he'd love me forever, stupid huh bloggy?
So bloody stupid of me to think that.
How fucking naïve.
How could i be so damned stupid?
Thinking that he'd love me always and forever.
These things don't exist Daphne..
Why are you being so dumb?
Im really guessing that he didnt mean any of those things that he said, i fucking hate him right now.
Fuck.
I remember everything little thing about you.
I remember every part of our relationship.
I remember your cute smile and laugh.
I remember the way we were around each other.
I remember everything.
I remember too much.
All those empty and broken promises left in my heart..
It seems like i have no way out, like I'm stuck in a never ending maze, where i really want to find the exit.
Over and OUTTTTTTT (not outta the maze..)
♥