201212 ~ ♥

18 minutes until my birthday.
For some reason, i hope that you won't wish me a happy birthday.
Its not like i expect you to wish me a happy birthday anyway, its just that if you dont, then itll just give me a reason to hate you.
But then on the other hand, i really wish that youll wish me happy birthday.. What do i even want?
Either way, i want to hate you.
WASSUP DAPHNE CHEUNG?!
EURGH, okai, i needa stop this.
IM TURNING 20, i needa just move on with my life.
Seriously.
Well, the worlds supposed to end anyways, so whatever, i guess God will do that for me! ^^

Over and OUTTTTTTTTT

♥

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Posted by : DeeBeeex

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141212 ~ ♥

When I close my eyes I think of you

And the times we've had been through 

Even though we're far apart right now

I remember back when you were here with me

How you've made my world complete

But now I'm left alone

We talked about love and hope

Wishing we could start a life our own

I wish that I could live without you

[Chorus]

Why did you tear my heart apart

You said you'd love me from the start

All those painful things you've put me through

But I'm still loving you

I've tried to give my best to you

I don't deserve the things you do

Everything has gone to memories

I just wish I knew the truth behind the lies

[Repeat Chorus]

'I'm Still Loving You'  - Shiga Lin

Sucha cute songg ^^

And the lyrics remind me of TC way more than they should, but its just sucha nice songg ^^

Over and OUTTTTTTTTTTTT

♥

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121212 ~ ♥

Check out the cool date bloggy!

Tumblr is downnn, i guess the world really is ending ><"

It hasnt worked for hoursss fml!

But im keeping myself busy watching Gossip Girl :D

I came home for Christmas today, and i am so, so nervous about seeing TC..

I dont know how im gonna react, or how hes gonna react..

I dont know whether i want to see him to be honest..

But i know i have to in order to be able to start to get over him.

I was saying to CT today that i was worried he has a new girlfriend, and what if he brings her to our home town?

I think id die if he had a new girlfriend, let alone meet her..

But i know that i cant stop him having a new girlfriend, its just that it would break my heart even more, thats all.
My world would crash and burn *sigh*

I hope im not that easy to get over and just unlove.. ><"
I bet if i gotta new boyfriend, he wouldnt give two craps T_T

But if two people are meant to be, then theyll be, right?

I was just thinking about stuff, and this time last year, TC was telling me that hed definitely come to my birthday party last year, and that no matter what, he wouldnt let me down.

And he was right, he didnt let me down, in fact, this time last year was when our relationship was at its peak.

This year, i doubt hell even wish me a happy birthday.

And i think that thats when il be really upset, because i expected a happy birthday from him every year.

And he asked me whether hed get a new years kiss, and i told him of course.

And sure enough, at midnight of the 1st of January 2012, he wrapped his arms around me, and whilst everyone else was shouting and screaming and singing and hugging cos it was a new year, he kissed me and told me he loved me.

A while later, whilst were all still with our friends, what do i get? A text telling me hed loved me for 365 days and that he wanted to be with me always and forever.

Well, the text was much longer than that, but my brains learnt to block out the details of texts from him over the past 6 months.

This coming 1st of January 2013?

Il be lucky if i get a smile to be honest..

I just hope that by then, il be over him so that i wont even care if i dont get a smile.

Not sure how that ones gonna turn out..

Over and OUTTTTTTTTTTTT

♥

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051212 ~ ♥

这么快又一年啦..
年年个一月我都觉得: '死啦, 又要等这么久 先到我下个生日!' 但是, 其实时间过得好快.
我有十六日我就二十岁啦.
我都觉得我自己其实未长大.
我希忘我今年可以大个小小和坚强小小.
我希忘唔会令我自己再失忘啦, 也唔会再给他伤害.

张翠娃, 记得最重要是忘记他这么对你..
如果可以忘记他就当然最好了 :)

加由!

Over and OUTTTTTTTTTTT

♥

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041212 ~ ♥

Cancer: You Think of that Person as Perfect - You project your idea of the perfect one onto them and you overlook their weaknesses or flaws.

Is that how you felt about me..?
I know its stupid of me to ask this really.. But i really do wonder.
You used to tell me i was perfect, but i really doubt you meant it now.

Lets be honest, im not am i?

And it shows, cos youve gone and broken my heart and left.

I was right.

I used to think that we both slept really late, because wed be texting all day long and then wed always text each other good night around 1am..

But now, i sleep at abnormal times, like 4am or something stupid, and my days feel so long T_T

And when these days feel long, i miss you so much more because it feels like i haven't spoken to you in so long.

But if you think about it, 6 months really isnt that long a period of time..

I miss you so much, i really dont know what im supposed to do..
Today i was speaking to XF and hes been so nice to me lately, and even when i say things that i used to say to him, however small, and however irrelevant to our relationship, i feel like the worst person in the world.
When i really shouldnt because were no longer together and the things that we used to say to each other are no longer significant.
But after i say those things, i physically want to take them back, or like, untype them or something, because i feel horrible, i feel upset at myself for typing those things because i feel like they were 'our' things that we said to each other.
Its ruined everything because i should be able to say things to people normally, and yet the smallest of things seems to matter to me and remind me of you.
What have you done to my mind?
Just uncast this stupid spell on me already!

Im stuck, and i wish i wasnt.

Somebody help me.

Help me get out of this horrible place.

Please.

Over and OUTTTTTTTTTT

♥

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Posted by : DeeBeeex

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