Monday 20 June 2011

200611 ♥ x

Umm, bit of a shit day today.
To cut it short, TC told me that he doesnt know whether he likes me anymore.
How can you not know whether you like someone anymore?
Thing is, i dont think that he means that, and i honestly do think well get through it.
I think everythings gotten on top of him a bit and hes a bit lost in thought.

I also think that hes scared of committment.
Maybe he feels like were too atttached to each other and hes getting a bit freaked out without knowing.
But i just want us to be happy together, you know? :)
Thing is, i asked him if everything was okai, and he told me nothing was up and he said no lies.
But 2 hours later, hes telling me that he doesnt know whether he likes me anymore?
Mehhh, i dunnoes.

I dont really wanna distract him anymore, i just want him to do well in physics.
Ive tried to be as encouraging as i can, i havent changed who i am at all.
Ive been the same person whos constantly there for him.
And i havent lied about my feelings one bit.

I keep crying, then i stop crying and feel okai, then i cry again.
Whats wrong with me? T_T
Tbh, i just want him to be happy, and i thought i was making him happy...
But maybe i was wrong.
Did i not make him happy?
We always talked about how special our relationship was, and how amazing and perfect the other was, and i never lied.
It was how i truly felt.
Its how i truly feel.
Im gving him time now, to just concentrate and get these two important exams aced.
Hes gonna do well, i know it :)
I want everything to be okai, like last time, how he was indecisive about us being together again, how he didnt know whether he liked me.
But look where it got us, it got us being stronger and it got us to a point where we grew so close.
He can be indecisive, but if he looks at it properly, i know hell make the right decision.
He kissed me today, how can you just kiss someone that you dont like?
Maybe im trying too hard.
Maybe i should try less.
I dunno...
But i do have a feeling its gonna be okai, because were stronger than that, and what couple doesnt go through these issues?
All couples hit rough patches, but they get through them.
I think weve just hit one of those rough patches.
Where he doesnt know what hes thinking, but im not 100% sure.
He didnt text me goodnight tonight, its like 5 months ago all over again.
Its meant to be our 3rd monthiversary the day after tomorrow, but meh.
Maybe hell realise before then that we have something special, its not like he doesnt know already :)
If you like someone, you dont give up, and if you feel like you dont know whether you like someone, you dont give up.
And even so, even if you dont like someone anymore, if you have something special, you dont give up.
Its not what you do.

Today, i was like "2 days!"
I was really excited, and he forgot what i was talking about.
And then he realised...
Maybe i got too excited, maybe i care too much.

Ahhh, baby, just know that we have something special.
I didnt wanna text and be all soppy, because i know that would just make you feel bad.
I dont want you to feel bad.
I just want you to know that just because weve hit a bump on the road, it doesnt mean that its really bad.
Its weird, right now, im not crying, im actually quite calm.
Im sleeping soon, so il probably cry more, but right now, im okais i guess.
Its a pretty big bump, but i think well get over it :)
And i think we can be even stronger than before, because thats who we are.
We get stronger after every rough patch we go through :)
And if you look deep into this, you know that we have something good.
And you know just as well as i do that our feelings for each other are too strong to deny.
Just think about it, and youll see :)
Even with your chinese eyes ^^ <3
My sirry baby, well be okai!
We just gotta get through this, hehe ^^

Over and OUTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT


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