110514 ~ ♥

Hi bloggy!

So the past few days, i have been feeling.. I don't know what the word iss..
BLs been busy revising, which i am proud of him for.
I don't want to disturb him and i don't expect him to talk to me whilst he's working.
I like that he concentrates on studying, and it makes me proud of him.
And knowing that he's thinking of me even when he's revising makes me happy..
But the other day, we didnt talk pretty much the whole day, and then it got late, and i sapped him asking if he's done revising, and he tells me he's leaguing.
So not only have i not been spoken to because league came first, but then i speak first and its just such a short reply.
Well, anyways, i was like, whatever, he's probably really into the game, but then after its just like, he doesnt realise that I'm upset, that we haven't spoken all day and then a game has first priority.
I know it doesnt seem that way to him, but it does to me.
The fact that he didnt realise i was upset means that i had to explain things to him, and its not that i mind, but sometimes, you don't wanna be the annoying person that says it, but at the same time, i know boys aren't mind readers.
Anyway, i ended up telling him i was upset, cos i just had the heaviest heart and i knew if i didnt tell him, id just explode T_T
So we talked it out and its not like we argued or anything, i was just crying for hours cos I'm emotional, and it really got to me.
Then we were fine, and i explained how i felt etc..
And everything was fine that night and everything was good.

Yano bloggy, I don't mind that he wants to play a game, in fact, i like that he spends time playing with his friends.
I think its important for couples to spend time with other people that aren't in the relationship, and away from each other.
Plus, i think it's the kinda thing where, i think they're playing extra amounts now cos its kind of a stress relief for them from revision. Like they spend the whole day doing something so tiring, and then gaming kinda just lightens their mood.
He never used to play this much.. So I'm guessing its that.. Or maybe I've just got boring now.. LOL i dunno.

And just now, i asked if he's leaguing, cos i wanted to ft him, and he said he's leaguing soon and to not worry cos we see each other in four days.
Here comes the sad part, the sad part is, i think four days is a long time.. And he makes it sound like its no time at all.
And that kinda sucks right? When you can't wait to see that person, and then they make it sound like 'well, its not that long really'.
I think I'm just like meh cos I'm like 'ahhh, four days, so long to waitt :(' but he doesnt seem to mind.
Maybe he didnt mean it that way, i don't know, he's not the best with his words, but thats what it sounded like to me..
And then he said something along the lines of he knew this would happen one day and the solution is for me to play..
Lol i don't think that thats the problem..
Communication is what i want.. Lol i don't really get it..
And around his leaguing 'time', like 10 minutes before, and during, theres not much communication that goes on between us.
I guess i don't really care thaaaat much, its just something thats on my minddd

He said today that he would've liked to see me when i got to Euston from Bham, and that he misses my everything..
But judging by the situation now, it doesnt really seem like it..
I dunno, i feel like I'm asking for too much from him recently, i feel like he feels like he doesnt get why I'm upset cos he thinks he's giving me enough attention. Its not really the attention that i want, one sentence isn't hard to type, and i guess girls just wanna feel loved right?
This is coming out wrong, its not that i don't feel loved, i just feel like i care more.

I guess he's had work today and he's probably tired, but if he's got enough energy to league, then surely he has enough energy to ft me right?
But having said that, like i said before, i just feel like I'm asking too much from him, i don't want him to feel bad, cos he hasn't done anything wrong..
Honestly, i don't even know how to explain my own feelings bloggy, imma bit like meh atm..
I guess its a learning process, something that will make us grow as a couple..
I think its something that i will learn to overlook, because you are supposed to love every part of your significant other ^^
And he's the most significant, significant other that i will ever have.
Maybe il get used to it soon enough.
I guess i just have to accept it and learn to care less.
The more you love someone, the more vulnerable you are, and so, i guess i have to learn to care less!
Love is not always fine and dandy bloggy, there are days when you feel down, but its what makes you grow as a person.
The experiences that take place in your life are what makes you, you.
But, if you love someone, learn to deal with the problem that is making you feel down.
It may not be a problem at all.
It may seem like a problem, but step back and take a look at it from a different angle.
Talking to you has made me less down bloggy! At the beginning, i was teary, and now, my mind is much clearer, thank you :)
Im now in a mature relationship, its true, I've had a longer relationship than this, but this feels real, you know?
It feels so different to before, so much better, like were two people who have a connection, thats more than just a 'relationship'.
Like i can imagine him in my future, that kinda thing..
I dunno, this sounds gay T_T
But all i know is, if i plan on staying with this boy, which i do, then i just have to learn to accept that gaming is a mahuusive part of his life, and that really, its a relatively small problem..
Therefore, League of Legends, I officially bow down and accept second place after you.
You can take my boyfriend for a few hours, but the rest of the time, HES MINEEE! Kekekekekeke ^^"

Over and OUTTTTTTTTTT

♥