Id like to say that today has been a good day, because it has been, but not everything has gone to plan.
I saw the best friends, Kerry and Kirsty.
Had a good time at their house, just like old times <3
I talk about it like it was years ago, but in fact, it feels like ages ago.
Not being at their house for just a few months, has shown me that so much can happen, in so little time, and the change is noticeable as HELL.
Lets start at the beginning:
I was woken up by daddy's coughing. SMOKING IS BAD FOR YOU (N)
He doesnt seem to grasp THAT POINT!
I fell back asleep and woke up at 12:30. Felt so good to finally have enough sleep for the past week =[
Made some breakfast and Karmen called me at around 1...
We had a 1.5 hour phone conversation.
I love her.
My best friend <3
She means so so much to me
Seeing her hurt like this just isnt fair.
If im already crying for her, then i cant begin to imagine how must she be feeling.
Then after that, i played piano for a bit.
The touchy subject i spoke about to Karmen made me a bit pissy, so that calmed me down, and seeing as i couldnt get through to Amy, i thought, why not?
Finally, got through to Amy, and we had a good chat, only for half an hour mind you, but it was good to catch up.
Told her about recent happenings, shes so mad.
I love Amy Liu <3
Shes an immense person and i love her to pieces.
No absolute jokes.
I dont think that anyone who hasnt been in Me and Karmens situations or similar ones, will know how were feeling
To be hurt by boys, friends, boyfriends, its all a lot more than can be seen by the eye.
People say: "let it go" and you cant because its a lot more easier said than done.
You cant just "let it go" because you have feelings. Its just not do-able.
Karmen is such a strong person, and she is so amazing
She helps me and i hopefully help her in return
When shes hurt, i know how shes feeling, ive been hurt before too and thats why its so much more painful to see her like this.
I can grasp why people act the way they do, it really annoys me, how their logic is so twisted and wonky =_="
Whenever i have a problem, i can automatically go to Karmen, she helps me throughout and she has never let me down.
We tell each other our secrets and we talk about things that no other people know about.
Even whilst she is going through all this SHIT, she still has the time and effort to say to me: "Daph, everythings going to be okai" when we both know, that it might not be okai till ages.
So on the phone today, we listened to each other, she told me what was up and i told her.
Its not easy getting it out, but it certainly helps when you have a best friend there to help you along the way.
She keeps her head held high for me, yet i know that she is hurting inside just as much as me and i cant do anything about that
All i can say is "its gonna be okai, trust me karmen" but theres an extent to which i can just say that
Because i know im not convincing her, but i do know that in time, itll all get better
If people wanna hurt her, then theyre expecting to hurt me too because i will not let them do that to people.
Peoples morals are so messed up these days, they dont seem to have any common sense on any matter...
Thats what really annoys me
Best friends are meant to be there for each other, the way Kerry, Kirsty and Karmen are for me
But some best friends have really lacked this responsibility lately.
They dont seem to realise that their opinion matters just as much, but when they make you lose trust in them, it really matters nothing at all and just makes you hate them.
What ive learnt from all of this?
Best friends may not be true friends.
Dont expect anything from anyone because that way, only youll get hurt more.
And some words to people who dont realise how much theyve hurt others:
Fuck off and stay outta our lives.
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