This was us.
At least, i thought it was.
We were the 'only once in a rare million do the same two people need each other.'
You lied when you said i was your one and only and that i was your everything.
Over and OUTTTTTTTTTT
♥
Tuesday, 26 June 2012
260612 ♥ x
This was us.
At least, i thought it was.
We were the 'only once in a rare million do the same two people need each other.'
You lied when you said i was your one and only and that i was your everything.
Over and OUTTTTTTTTTT
260612 ♥ x
I didnt get paid at work today T_T
GREAT.
Thats like over a hundred pound not coming to me till saturday T_T
WHAT IS THIS CHILD LABOUR ATROCITY?!
I think my cousin just told me that our uncle has booked skydiving for us this summer..
Ohmygod, i am not jumping out of a plane, no fudging way.
Anyways, onna different topic, i am still fuming like an angry monkey.
I remember when you called me an awkward monkey..
Why did i go and read your emails today?
Why did i go and do that? :(
It just made me miss you so much more.
You used to miss me too, what happened there?
You missed everything about us..
Not anymore..
You look so happy in your picture, and I'm glad that you are, but I'm sat here so broken, broken like a broken chinese vase.
Someone mustve made you happy.
And it sucks that its not me.
Im glad you've forgotten all about me, at least only one of us are upset now.
But just to say, il always miss you.
Over and OUTTTTTTTT
GREAT.
Thats like over a hundred pound not coming to me till saturday T_T
WHAT IS THIS CHILD LABOUR ATROCITY?!
I think my cousin just told me that our uncle has booked skydiving for us this summer..
Ohmygod, i am not jumping out of a plane, no fudging way.
Anyways, onna different topic, i am still fuming like an angry monkey.
I remember when you called me an awkward monkey..
Why did i go and read your emails today?
Why did i go and do that? :(
It just made me miss you so much more.
You used to miss me too, what happened there?
You missed everything about us..
Not anymore..
You look so happy in your picture, and I'm glad that you are, but I'm sat here so broken, broken like a broken chinese vase.
Someone mustve made you happy.
And it sucks that its not me.
Im glad you've forgotten all about me, at least only one of us are upset now.
But just to say, il always miss you.
Over and OUTTTTTTTT
♥
Monday, 25 June 2012
250612 ♥ x
Why do you have to do this?
Its like, rubbing salt on my wounds..
I was completely fine hating you.
Well.. i don't hate you, i could never hate you, but i was completely fine just remembering you in my head and not seeing you on Facebook.
Then this morning, RK asks me how comes i said that you'd blocked your Facebook, so i went to check, and hey presto, there you are, on my Facebook.
You look so happy, so normal..
It made me feel sick to the stomach and my heart felt like it was tryna break my rib cage open and jump outta my chest.
And let me tell you, it really fucking hurts to see you smiling so happily.
How could you be so happy, when I'm completely broken?
Thing is.. Part of me is glad that you're smiling and happy.
Its like, even though this whole thing is you killing me inside again, and again, I'm still not mad at you.
What is this weakness?
What spell have you put no me TC?!
Why can't i get outta it.
If your Facebook is back, does that mean you're back in England?
Or did you just think it'd be funny to suddenly activate your Facebook again after a few weeks of just upping and leaving and completely being a douchebag?!
How could you be so heartless?
I know its not my decision, whether you have a Facebook or not.
But don't go and leave and delete everything, and then just suddenly pop back up.
Fuckkk I'm so frustrated.
This is killing me and the worst part is, you don't even realise.
I hate you, and i love you.
What is this controversy? :(
Today was D DAY! Aka day i had to hand in my assignments!
BUTTTTTTT.. I HAVE HANDED IN MY RESIT ASSIGNMENTS!
YESSSSSSSS (Y)
This means summer for me!
Aka a whole month and 2 days until i go to America T_T
WHY SO FAR AWAY OMG?!
So distressed T_T
I WANNA GO NOW, i wanna get away from this shitty country.
Well, theres nothing wrong with the country, i guess i just miss him and this country frigging reminds me of him T_T
WANNA DIE.
ARGHHHHH ipaoaboabgowhiva T_T
But anyways, yeah, i finished my assessments!
YAYYYY!
I didnt start them till last night at like midnight :/
And i finished at 4!
Harhar record and a half!
It was quite good to do actually!
Took my mind off him.
But yeah!
So now every things handed in!
I woke up at 9 this morning to frigging scan some documents in to hand in too, and so I've had about 5 hours sleep..
Saturday, i slept at 5:30, woke up at 10:30.
Friday, i slept at 5, woke up at 9
Thursday, i slept at 5:30 and woke up at 11.
I have not had a proper nights sleep for soooo long.
And it is seriously catching up with me!
I have eye bags as big as PANDAS!
ITS SO BADDDDDDDDDDD :(
I have work tonight as well..
Cos my uncle wanted a day off..
So great..
Waaaa, but now, after i finish blogging, i shall have some sleep again :D
Okai, so lemme explain why i have been sleeping so late..
My daddy went on holiday on Wedesday, so I've been all alone and scared and ill ><"
So that night was okai, i slept earlier and thought id just forget that i was lonely.
Then on Thursday, after midnight, it was Friday, and it was supposed to me and TC's 21st month together.
So then i didnt sleep for ages cos i was reading and tryna get my mind off it.
Then Friday, kinda leading into saturday, i just didnt sleep cos i don't even know why, cos imma massive gay T_T
I know i know, so sue me T_T
Then Saturday, i had work, omg, i got to work and my uncle suddenly goes: 'can you work late tonight, i wanna leave early.'
I was like what the hell, you could've told me earlier, don't just spring this on me D=
Cos KL, MT, WP, RO and AW were coming over at 10..
Anyways, so then i was like fineeee, KL was there, so i trusted her with my keys anyways.
She came to collect them at around 9 something from Maxime.
Anwyays, so then i got home from work, and we started drinking around 11:30!
We drank until like 2 or something.
If I'm honest, i don't even remember.
This was the first time I've actually been drunk.
I remember pretty much everything, but most of all, i remember my head spinning and feeling sick.
BUT NEVER FEAR, i didnt vom >:] ^^
So yeah, me, WP, MT and RO slept in my parents room, and AW was wrapped around the toilet for a while, throwing up, then he dragged himself to my room.
KL was already conked out at like 2, she was PISSEDDDD, and screaming T_T
And then she threw up on my carpet..
Theres an orange/brown sticky patch on my carpet even though its been vanish oxy actioned D=
GREATTTTTTTTT..
Its the place where i always sit as well, GOOD ONE KL.
It was so good being with my friends though ^^
And no hangover for me either so yay!
Just really bad asian flush at the time ahaaaa.
Right, imma stop talking for now, i needa sleep and forget the whole thing that just happened this morning.
JEEZ, why did i have to go on Facebook?
If i had just emailed my assignment, no going on Facebook, then id be FINE.
WHATS UP WITH MY TIMING?!
You know, this wouldn't even be happening if he hadn't done sucha stupid thing.
Why am i even blaming myself T_T
But no, timing still sucked.
ANYWAYS, goodbye babies!
Over and OUTTTTTTTT
Its like, rubbing salt on my wounds..
I was completely fine hating you.
Well.. i don't hate you, i could never hate you, but i was completely fine just remembering you in my head and not seeing you on Facebook.
Then this morning, RK asks me how comes i said that you'd blocked your Facebook, so i went to check, and hey presto, there you are, on my Facebook.
You look so happy, so normal..
It made me feel sick to the stomach and my heart felt like it was tryna break my rib cage open and jump outta my chest.
And let me tell you, it really fucking hurts to see you smiling so happily.
How could you be so happy, when I'm completely broken?
Thing is.. Part of me is glad that you're smiling and happy.
Its like, even though this whole thing is you killing me inside again, and again, I'm still not mad at you.
What is this weakness?
What spell have you put no me TC?!
Why can't i get outta it.
If your Facebook is back, does that mean you're back in England?
Or did you just think it'd be funny to suddenly activate your Facebook again after a few weeks of just upping and leaving and completely being a douchebag?!
How could you be so heartless?
I know its not my decision, whether you have a Facebook or not.
But don't go and leave and delete everything, and then just suddenly pop back up.
Fuckkk I'm so frustrated.
This is killing me and the worst part is, you don't even realise.
I hate you, and i love you.
What is this controversy? :(
Today was D DAY! Aka day i had to hand in my assignments!
BUTTTTTTT.. I HAVE HANDED IN MY RESIT ASSIGNMENTS!
YESSSSSSSS (Y)
This means summer for me!
Aka a whole month and 2 days until i go to America T_T
WHY SO FAR AWAY OMG?!
So distressed T_T
I WANNA GO NOW, i wanna get away from this shitty country.
Well, theres nothing wrong with the country, i guess i just miss him and this country frigging reminds me of him T_T
WANNA DIE.
ARGHHHHH ipaoaboabgowhiva T_T
But anyways, yeah, i finished my assessments!
YAYYYY!
I didnt start them till last night at like midnight :/
And i finished at 4!
Harhar record and a half!
It was quite good to do actually!
Took my mind off him.
But yeah!
So now every things handed in!
I woke up at 9 this morning to frigging scan some documents in to hand in too, and so I've had about 5 hours sleep..
Saturday, i slept at 5:30, woke up at 10:30.
Friday, i slept at 5, woke up at 9
Thursday, i slept at 5:30 and woke up at 11.
I have not had a proper nights sleep for soooo long.
And it is seriously catching up with me!
I have eye bags as big as PANDAS!
ITS SO BADDDDDDDDDDD :(
I have work tonight as well..
Cos my uncle wanted a day off..
So great..
Waaaa, but now, after i finish blogging, i shall have some sleep again :D
Okai, so lemme explain why i have been sleeping so late..
My daddy went on holiday on Wedesday, so I've been all alone and scared and ill ><"
So that night was okai, i slept earlier and thought id just forget that i was lonely.
Then on Thursday, after midnight, it was Friday, and it was supposed to me and TC's 21st month together.
So then i didnt sleep for ages cos i was reading and tryna get my mind off it.
Then Friday, kinda leading into saturday, i just didnt sleep cos i don't even know why, cos imma massive gay T_T
I know i know, so sue me T_T
Then Saturday, i had work, omg, i got to work and my uncle suddenly goes: 'can you work late tonight, i wanna leave early.'
I was like what the hell, you could've told me earlier, don't just spring this on me D=
Cos KL, MT, WP, RO and AW were coming over at 10..
Anyways, so then i was like fineeee, KL was there, so i trusted her with my keys anyways.
She came to collect them at around 9 something from Maxime.
Anwyays, so then i got home from work, and we started drinking around 11:30!
We drank until like 2 or something.
If I'm honest, i don't even remember.
This was the first time I've actually been drunk.
I remember pretty much everything, but most of all, i remember my head spinning and feeling sick.
BUT NEVER FEAR, i didnt vom >:] ^^
So yeah, me, WP, MT and RO slept in my parents room, and AW was wrapped around the toilet for a while, throwing up, then he dragged himself to my room.
KL was already conked out at like 2, she was PISSEDDDD, and screaming T_T
And then she threw up on my carpet..
Theres an orange/brown sticky patch on my carpet even though its been vanish oxy actioned D=
GREATTTTTTTTT..
Its the place where i always sit as well, GOOD ONE KL.
It was so good being with my friends though ^^
And no hangover for me either so yay!
Just really bad asian flush at the time ahaaaa.
Right, imma stop talking for now, i needa sleep and forget the whole thing that just happened this morning.
JEEZ, why did i have to go on Facebook?
If i had just emailed my assignment, no going on Facebook, then id be FINE.
WHATS UP WITH MY TIMING?!
You know, this wouldn't even be happening if he hadn't done sucha stupid thing.
Why am i even blaming myself T_T
But no, timing still sucked.
ANYWAYS, goodbye babies!
Over and OUTTTTTTTT
♥
Saturday, 23 June 2012
230612 ♥ x
Im sad and i suddenly remembered the time you made me draw a happy picture.
This was before we got together the first time.
I asked you to draw one with me, and we showed each others to each other.
You made me smile, and for that, i thank you.
You cheered me up and made me feel happy again.
And from then on, you started being my everything.
And i was yours.
What happened?
Over and OUTTTTT
This was before we got together the first time.
I asked you to draw one with me, and we showed each others to each other.
You made me smile, and for that, i thank you.
You cheered me up and made me feel happy again.
And from then on, you started being my everything.
And i was yours.
What happened?
Over and OUTTTTT
♥
230612 ♥ x
Im making tea eggs!
OMNOMNOM!
I gotta wait another 25 minutes till they're ready, and then i have work at 5 T_T
FML.
My uncle wants me to work on mondays as well now..
Greatttttttt.
But at least i get moneys! So thats okai ^^
The infinity bracelets i ordered arrived today ^^
Waiting for all my deliveries takes foreverrr T_T
Watching Revenge on tv and skyping HC atm!
I need distractions mannnn, this is too much.
I couldn't sleep till 5am this morning again..
When i was falling asleep, out the corner of my eye, there was orange sunlight coming through the bathroom windows, reflecting onto the wardrobe in my parents room. (Im sleeping in their room right now)
I hate being alone at night, at uni, i had other people in my building, but i hated it at times.
It felt so lonely :/
On thursdays and fridays, id have TC, id be in his arms, happy.
But monday through wednesday, it could be scary.
Im scared of the dark, and i guess, thats why when i slept at 5am this morning, and i had the light, i felt better.
I get scared in the night in my house, even if it has been my home for 19 nearly 20 years.
Call me pathetic but i do get scared the big old age that i am at!
At some points, i want to just call my mum and ask to come home and look after me, but i can't do that.
Like i said, I'm nearly 20, i can't want her to come look after me, plus, she has her course starting this week, and after all these years of her trying to find something to do that she loves, i can't ask her to not do it.
Just cos I'm at home alone for a month or so ><"
TC was meant to keep me company this summer, it was meant to be the best summer ever, and now its turned into the worst.
I have no feeling of comfort, and i feel so unsafe.
There is not one single part of me that feels safe right now, i feel so vulnerable, so easily hurt.
I haven't yet had a break down yet, I've just cried a bit, but i know when i find out the real answers, i will break down because it won't be what i want to hear.
I have no hope, i just know this is not gonna end well, and i don't know what to do.
I feel so unhappy, so unlike myself.
This is not who i am, before i met him, i was always so happy.
But then i fell in love, and i became open to pain, hurt, vulnerability.
Love isn't easy, it can be so hard, and it just means you're open to getting hurt.
But all of it was worth it, id do it all over again just for him.
But now, he's no longer mine, its not for me to do all over again.
Why did you tell me that you'd never leave me, that you couldn't?
Don't tell me things if you're not gonna follow through.
I thought i meant something to him, i thought he loved me so much.
Why was my judgement so wrong?
What have i ever done to deserve this?
Over and OUTTTTTTTTT
OMNOMNOM!
I gotta wait another 25 minutes till they're ready, and then i have work at 5 T_T
FML.
My uncle wants me to work on mondays as well now..
Greatttttttt.
But at least i get moneys! So thats okai ^^
The infinity bracelets i ordered arrived today ^^
Waiting for all my deliveries takes foreverrr T_T
Watching Revenge on tv and skyping HC atm!
I need distractions mannnn, this is too much.
I couldn't sleep till 5am this morning again..
When i was falling asleep, out the corner of my eye, there was orange sunlight coming through the bathroom windows, reflecting onto the wardrobe in my parents room. (Im sleeping in their room right now)
I hate being alone at night, at uni, i had other people in my building, but i hated it at times.
It felt so lonely :/
On thursdays and fridays, id have TC, id be in his arms, happy.
But monday through wednesday, it could be scary.
Im scared of the dark, and i guess, thats why when i slept at 5am this morning, and i had the light, i felt better.
I get scared in the night in my house, even if it has been my home for 19 nearly 20 years.
Call me pathetic but i do get scared the big old age that i am at!
At some points, i want to just call my mum and ask to come home and look after me, but i can't do that.
Like i said, I'm nearly 20, i can't want her to come look after me, plus, she has her course starting this week, and after all these years of her trying to find something to do that she loves, i can't ask her to not do it.
Just cos I'm at home alone for a month or so ><"
TC was meant to keep me company this summer, it was meant to be the best summer ever, and now its turned into the worst.
I have no feeling of comfort, and i feel so unsafe.
There is not one single part of me that feels safe right now, i feel so vulnerable, so easily hurt.
I haven't yet had a break down yet, I've just cried a bit, but i know when i find out the real answers, i will break down because it won't be what i want to hear.
I have no hope, i just know this is not gonna end well, and i don't know what to do.
I feel so unhappy, so unlike myself.
This is not who i am, before i met him, i was always so happy.
But then i fell in love, and i became open to pain, hurt, vulnerability.
Love isn't easy, it can be so hard, and it just means you're open to getting hurt.
But all of it was worth it, id do it all over again just for him.
But now, he's no longer mine, its not for me to do all over again.
Why did you tell me that you'd never leave me, that you couldn't?
Don't tell me things if you're not gonna follow through.
I thought i meant something to him, i thought he loved me so much.
Why was my judgement so wrong?
What have i ever done to deserve this?
Over and OUTTTTTTTTT
♥
Friday, 22 June 2012
220612 ♥ x
Omgshh, i vow not to buy so much on the internet at once ever again..
Keeping up with the math is crazy T_T
I check my bank statement, and nothing is in order of when i ordered them, so then i have to go through everything and I'm just like, why are people charging me moneys when i haven't bought anything?
But i dunno what I've paid for, so i can't say that i haven't done it D=
Omg ottokaeyo ><"
Didnt sleep till 5:30 this morning..
I was reading a book till 3!
Fifty Shades of Grey..
Its actually a really good book, porny, but has a good story line!
And now that I'm reading the second part of the trilogy, Fifty Shades Darker, it truly does remind me of Twilight, no wonder everyones saying its some adaptation!
I keep tryna link the characters to characters in twilight!
Such good books, they're really hard to put down!
I read the whole of Fifty Shades of Grey and I'm already half way through Fifty Shades Darker, all in about 24 hours o.O
And i had work in the time between!
Damn thats a lotta reading for one day!
Anyways, i was gonna sleep at 3, but then i suddenly remembered that it would have been me and TC's 21st month today.
The 22nd, what a date, our date.
Meh well, so i kept reading until i was so truly shattered that i kinda just fell asleep naturally.
Notta good feeling!
Then AS texted me and woke me up at 10 lool, but i went back to sleep.
And at 12, some woman pressed my bell to gimme a delivery T_T
Which just starts me up about delivery and money again, but whatever T_T
THESE PEOPLE ARE ROBBING ME!
Well whatever..
But yeah, it should have been 21 months today..
Sadly, its not..
We passed the 20th month mark and that was that.
I really miss him, although i have work tonight and i have my book to read, so i should be okai!
I wonder if he remembers what date it is today..
I wonder if he's thinking of me..
Or whether he's missing me..
What were you thinking?
Ahhhh.. I dunno why i care, or why i wish he did think and miss me.
To be fair, i know i still love him, but I'm just in my own bubble, my hope has faded and I'm waiting for this painful time to pass.
Blehhhhhh.
Over and OUTTTTTTTT
Keeping up with the math is crazy T_T
I check my bank statement, and nothing is in order of when i ordered them, so then i have to go through everything and I'm just like, why are people charging me moneys when i haven't bought anything?
But i dunno what I've paid for, so i can't say that i haven't done it D=
Omg ottokaeyo ><"
Didnt sleep till 5:30 this morning..
I was reading a book till 3!
Fifty Shades of Grey..
Its actually a really good book, porny, but has a good story line!
And now that I'm reading the second part of the trilogy, Fifty Shades Darker, it truly does remind me of Twilight, no wonder everyones saying its some adaptation!
I keep tryna link the characters to characters in twilight!
Such good books, they're really hard to put down!
I read the whole of Fifty Shades of Grey and I'm already half way through Fifty Shades Darker, all in about 24 hours o.O
And i had work in the time between!
Damn thats a lotta reading for one day!
Anyways, i was gonna sleep at 3, but then i suddenly remembered that it would have been me and TC's 21st month today.
The 22nd, what a date, our date.
Meh well, so i kept reading until i was so truly shattered that i kinda just fell asleep naturally.
Notta good feeling!
Then AS texted me and woke me up at 10 lool, but i went back to sleep.
And at 12, some woman pressed my bell to gimme a delivery T_T
Which just starts me up about delivery and money again, but whatever T_T
THESE PEOPLE ARE ROBBING ME!
Well whatever..
But yeah, it should have been 21 months today..
Sadly, its not..
We passed the 20th month mark and that was that.
I really miss him, although i have work tonight and i have my book to read, so i should be okai!
I wonder if he remembers what date it is today..
I wonder if he's thinking of me..
Or whether he's missing me..
What were you thinking?
Ahhhh.. I dunno why i care, or why i wish he did think and miss me.
To be fair, i know i still love him, but I'm just in my own bubble, my hope has faded and I'm waiting for this painful time to pass.
Blehhhhhh.
Over and OUTTTTTTTT
♥
Thursday, 21 June 2012
210612 ♥ x
OMGGGG
Can someone please put some hearts in their status', or give other people some hearts on Facebook, so that i can frigging copy and paste it?!
LOL D=
Theres this new book called 'Fifty Shades of Grey' that everyones talking about.
But it sounds kinda scary :/
BDSM really isn't my thing, but i think the plot might be really powerful!
Hmmm.. Might get it on my kindle to read! ^^
Its supposed to be the longest day today.. And its raining..
Greatttt.. Not even a bit of sun for me to enjoy on the longest day!
A whole new blog layout!
And i am lovingg ittt ^^
There are a few things id like to change, but i am no layout html person so i dunno how to change it T_T
Well, actually, I'm pretty proud of myself, and resulted in chanting GENIE I, GENIE I (genius) at myself and my cousin over Skype ahaaa >:]
Cos basically, i managed to change the font families, and font colours, and basically, some of the layout.
So i am rather proud ^^
I think this layout gives my blog a more sophisticated approach ahaa!
And I'm loving the dandelion, i like them :)
Time goes by so slowly nowadays, slower than a slow turtle on its back!
I mean, imagine a turtle on its back, its definitely not moving!
Okai, so maybe not as slow as that.. But you get what i mean T_T
You know, last summer, i didnt blog that much about the breakup.
I blogged once on the day it happened and that was it.
And i think once or twice in HK?
But that was also cos i could only access blogspot once or twice in HK..
LOL, that internet was truly so slow.
Omg, i tried to blog, and it just wasn't working, sucha disappointment T_T
But then, i also had stuff to keep me busy, and people to keep me busy, and to not think about it.
And now, i have nobody and nothing to keep me busy.
AS just called me lalala!
She's on her lunch break at work!
Wakaka she's a fatty buying lunch from tescos.
I WANT FOOD NOWWW!
I haven't eaten for so long :(
OKAI, I JUST MADE A TOASTIEEEEE ^^
Now i want another one D=
OMG IM SO HUNGRYSSS! Yeah yeah, imma fatty.. Whatcha gonna do? T_T
Cant decide between eating yoghurt or drinking actimel..
I wanna be able to decide T_T
What is up with me LOL D=
I should really start my retake assignments cos they're in for monday.. But honestly, i cannot be fudged.
I have my very first night at work tonight T_T
I cannot be bothereddddd, my hair is inna turban atm and i can't be arsed to move off this sofa T_T
Call me lazy, but I DONT CARE >:]
And seeing as its not my own business anymore, and I'm working at my uncles, i can't do whatever i want T_T
AISH, that sucks :(
But nahh, i should really start it soon, and i will, cos i have work tomorrow evening too, and saturday evening, then KL, MT, WP, RO and AW are coming over to stay over, and then on sunday were bbq'ing. (providing the weather isn't like today.. aka SHAT)
I just checked the weather.. Its raining all day T_T
LOL lets hope its not actually true T_T
Thats probably gonna mean they won't leave till the evening, so then il probably end up doing an all nighter on sunday through to monday to do this assignment.
TC used to tell me not to leave things till last minute.
But to be fair, were no longer together and listening to him hurts.
So i shall do things to my own accord ^^
AKA RUSH ASSIGNMENTS AND HOPE TO GOD THAT I WILL PASS T_T
On the up side, my bag arrived in the post today!
And so did my bumble bee case ^^
THE CASE IS SO CUTE!
AND THE BAG IS SO MUCH NICER IN REAL LIFE THAN THE PICTURE ON EBAY!
So happy wakakakaka ^^
So at least i have one up side of life!
RIGHT, I'm off to do some work..
Well actually, no, i gotta eat lunch first T_T
Day 2 of being home alone and I'm telling you, there is no healthy food in this house.
35 days of gong jai meen it is then! D=
Although, i have chicken legs that i gotta make..
DAMNIT I CEEBS T_T
Marinating them takes timeeeee!
Somebody come and help look after me please :(
Over and OUTTTTTTTTTT
Can someone please put some hearts in their status', or give other people some hearts on Facebook, so that i can frigging copy and paste it?!
LOL D=
Theres this new book called 'Fifty Shades of Grey' that everyones talking about.
But it sounds kinda scary :/
BDSM really isn't my thing, but i think the plot might be really powerful!
Hmmm.. Might get it on my kindle to read! ^^
Its supposed to be the longest day today.. And its raining..
Greatttt.. Not even a bit of sun for me to enjoy on the longest day!
A whole new blog layout!
And i am lovingg ittt ^^
There are a few things id like to change, but i am no layout html person so i dunno how to change it T_T
Well, actually, I'm pretty proud of myself, and resulted in chanting GENIE I, GENIE I (genius) at myself and my cousin over Skype ahaaa >:]
Cos basically, i managed to change the font families, and font colours, and basically, some of the layout.
So i am rather proud ^^
I think this layout gives my blog a more sophisticated approach ahaa!
And I'm loving the dandelion, i like them :)
Time goes by so slowly nowadays, slower than a slow turtle on its back!
I mean, imagine a turtle on its back, its definitely not moving!
Okai, so maybe not as slow as that.. But you get what i mean T_T
You know, last summer, i didnt blog that much about the breakup.
I blogged once on the day it happened and that was it.
And i think once or twice in HK?
But that was also cos i could only access blogspot once or twice in HK..
LOL, that internet was truly so slow.
Omg, i tried to blog, and it just wasn't working, sucha disappointment T_T
But then, i also had stuff to keep me busy, and people to keep me busy, and to not think about it.
And now, i have nobody and nothing to keep me busy.
AS just called me lalala!
She's on her lunch break at work!
Wakaka she's a fatty buying lunch from tescos.
I WANT FOOD NOWWW!
I haven't eaten for so long :(
OKAI, I JUST MADE A TOASTIEEEEE ^^
Now i want another one D=
OMG IM SO HUNGRYSSS! Yeah yeah, imma fatty.. Whatcha gonna do? T_T
Cant decide between eating yoghurt or drinking actimel..
I wanna be able to decide T_T
What is up with me LOL D=
I should really start my retake assignments cos they're in for monday.. But honestly, i cannot be fudged.
I have my very first night at work tonight T_T
I cannot be bothereddddd, my hair is inna turban atm and i can't be arsed to move off this sofa T_T
Call me lazy, but I DONT CARE >:]
And seeing as its not my own business anymore, and I'm working at my uncles, i can't do whatever i want T_T
AISH, that sucks :(
But nahh, i should really start it soon, and i will, cos i have work tomorrow evening too, and saturday evening, then KL, MT, WP, RO and AW are coming over to stay over, and then on sunday were bbq'ing. (providing the weather isn't like today.. aka SHAT)
I just checked the weather.. Its raining all day T_T
LOL lets hope its not actually true T_T
Thats probably gonna mean they won't leave till the evening, so then il probably end up doing an all nighter on sunday through to monday to do this assignment.
TC used to tell me not to leave things till last minute.
But to be fair, were no longer together and listening to him hurts.
So i shall do things to my own accord ^^
AKA RUSH ASSIGNMENTS AND HOPE TO GOD THAT I WILL PASS T_T
On the up side, my bag arrived in the post today!
And so did my bumble bee case ^^
THE CASE IS SO CUTE!
AND THE BAG IS SO MUCH NICER IN REAL LIFE THAN THE PICTURE ON EBAY!
So happy wakakakaka ^^
So at least i have one up side of life!
RIGHT, I'm off to do some work..
Well actually, no, i gotta eat lunch first T_T
Day 2 of being home alone and I'm telling you, there is no healthy food in this house.
35 days of gong jai meen it is then! D=
Although, i have chicken legs that i gotta make..
DAMNIT I CEEBS T_T
Marinating them takes timeeeee!
Somebody come and help look after me please :(
Over and OUTTTTTTTTTT
♥
210612 ♥ x
Officially the longest day of the year now, and exactly 6 months till my birthday, aka my half birthday.
Wonder how long the days gonna be today!
Ahaaa!
From here on out, the days are gonna get shorter and shorter till my birthday! Aka the shortest dayy, waaa! :'(
But hopefully, whilst the days get shorter, everything will get better.
Maybe my life will start looking up..
Aish..
But I'm not hoping for anything to be honest.
Its really weird how, when you have something, you don't think about it much at all.
Like, when we were together, id never just sit and think about how it felt when we kissed, how it felt to have your lips against mine, and our tongues dancing against each other.
Our mouths used to just melt together, and wed be in our own little world, just being with each other was the greatest feeling ever.
And the feelings that i felt whilst we were in each others arms?
They seem so long ago..
But now, as I'm all alone in my house, with nothing to do, I'm trying to think about it, and all our memories keep jumbling up together into a massive ball and i can't think straight.
I can't remember just one memory alone at a time, because they all mix up and just love being together as one.
I guess its because all our memories put together were what made us happy, and what made our relationship so great.
But, i really wanna remember these memories, and it sucks that i can't.
Like, i can, but not solely one at a time, which is just pure frustrating! D=
Im trying to think about how it felt to kiss you, and all i can remember is the gentleness and how amazing it felt, but details? They're stuck somewhere and i can't whip them out.
Maybe its my brain trying to block out something good so that i feel less upset about it, but i dunno, id like to be able to feel those feelings again, just to be happy for a second.
I remember all our silly little kisses, where one of us would blow and the other would breathe in.
And how we use to tickle each other.
And how you used to pout out your lips at me asking for a kiss, and how you'd smile once i gave you one.
Did you not think of that before or whilst you wrote that heart breaking letter to me?
I find it hard to believe that those moments meant close to nothing or nothing at all to you.
I really hate this, but still i don't hate you, and that kinda sucks for me.
Im sat here watching a video on youtube, and I'm thinking, I'm inna massive king sized bed, and you said you'd come over.
Im ill, you said you'd look after me whilst my daddy was on holiday :(
Im not being weak, but what, outta everything you said, did you even mean? ><"
We could've been holding hands atm, watching this video together.
And I'm just thinking, if i was tired, id be leaning on your shoulder, and you'd be kissing my head, my forehead, and my nose.
And wed be teasing each other, and just messing about like we normally did.
Aishhhhhhh, how things change..
Over and OUTTTTTTTTTTTT
Wonder how long the days gonna be today!
Ahaaa!
From here on out, the days are gonna get shorter and shorter till my birthday! Aka the shortest dayy, waaa! :'(
But hopefully, whilst the days get shorter, everything will get better.
Maybe my life will start looking up..
Aish..
But I'm not hoping for anything to be honest.
Its really weird how, when you have something, you don't think about it much at all.
Like, when we were together, id never just sit and think about how it felt when we kissed, how it felt to have your lips against mine, and our tongues dancing against each other.
Our mouths used to just melt together, and wed be in our own little world, just being with each other was the greatest feeling ever.
And the feelings that i felt whilst we were in each others arms?
They seem so long ago..
But now, as I'm all alone in my house, with nothing to do, I'm trying to think about it, and all our memories keep jumbling up together into a massive ball and i can't think straight.
I can't remember just one memory alone at a time, because they all mix up and just love being together as one.
I guess its because all our memories put together were what made us happy, and what made our relationship so great.
But, i really wanna remember these memories, and it sucks that i can't.
Like, i can, but not solely one at a time, which is just pure frustrating! D=
Im trying to think about how it felt to kiss you, and all i can remember is the gentleness and how amazing it felt, but details? They're stuck somewhere and i can't whip them out.
Maybe its my brain trying to block out something good so that i feel less upset about it, but i dunno, id like to be able to feel those feelings again, just to be happy for a second.
I remember all our silly little kisses, where one of us would blow and the other would breathe in.
And how we use to tickle each other.
And how you used to pout out your lips at me asking for a kiss, and how you'd smile once i gave you one.
Did you not think of that before or whilst you wrote that heart breaking letter to me?
I find it hard to believe that those moments meant close to nothing or nothing at all to you.
I really hate this, but still i don't hate you, and that kinda sucks for me.
Im sat here watching a video on youtube, and I'm thinking, I'm inna massive king sized bed, and you said you'd come over.
Im ill, you said you'd look after me whilst my daddy was on holiday :(
Im not being weak, but what, outta everything you said, did you even mean? ><"
We could've been holding hands atm, watching this video together.
And I'm just thinking, if i was tired, id be leaning on your shoulder, and you'd be kissing my head, my forehead, and my nose.
And wed be teasing each other, and just messing about like we normally did.
Aishhhhhhh, how things change..
Over and OUTTTTTTTTTTTT
♥
Wednesday, 20 June 2012
200612 ♥ x
Happy Birthday to my lovely CATRINA! ^^
Sang yut fai lok, hopefully il see you soon!
On another note, my daddy left for his holiday today :(
I woke up bright and early to give him his letter!
Omgah, i miss him already :(
MY DADDYYYY :(
Mehh, i won't see him till 15th of August D=
THATS SO FAR AWAY WTFUDGEKINS
I already experienced inception!
AHA!
Cos basically.. I fell back asleep after my daddy left the house, and i dreamt that i dreamt about stuff, it was kinda weird :/
Ive kinda forgotten what the dream in the dream was about ><"
My memories not the best when i first wake up.. Awkss
Daddys flight shouldn't have left yet!
It leaves at 2:30 or something, meaning he has a bit less than 2 hours before he flies.
I wonder when hell read my letter..
On the plane like i told him to?
Or before?
LOL, he said i was being bare mysterious T_T
I was just tryna surprise him JEEEZ!
I HOPE HE HAS A SAFE FLIGHT AND JOURNEY! OH! AND UNCLE JUSTIN TOO!
I wonder if Justin gor gor has Skype :/
Hmmmm..
What makes it worse is that, I'm now all alone in this lonely house.
My summer was meant to be the best, TC was meant to be coming over all the time to keep me company.
But now, my summers been ruined.
Great.
I just read through our last 2 days worth of texts, and wed disagreed on some things, but not enough for like a fight or anything..
And he was kinda unelongated and just sending short texts.
But then he'd tell me he loved me, and that he loves me, and his last ever text to me was 'i love you.'
I dunno what I'm supposed to think :/
I don't understand :'(
Why tell me you love me when you're gonna do this.
I would've rather been prepared for it, i would've rather you didnt tell me you loved me and all that and i would've been prepared and known the reason.
Aish.
Bumhole.
ARGHHHHHHH, my mind is killing me :(
Slowly but surely.
Oh and to make things worse, i have a sore throat..
GREATTTTT!
My father goes on holiday, and ON THAT DAY, well, kinda night before ishh.. Cos it was at 3am.. MY THROAT STARTS HURTING.
SO NOW I HAVE A FEELING IMMA GET ILL, AND NOONES GONNA BE HERE TO LOOK AFTER ME :(
I haven't been properly ill since i got to uni, so it hasn't mattered, i haven't had to look after myself, only after TC when he got ill.
And now, i gotta look after myself.. and i dunno how to do that D=
OH NOOOOO :(
Waaaa
PLUS, i start work tomorrow at Maxime, and then i gotta frigging do my coursework in for monday, and the others are coming over on saturday, and WAAAAA D=
Imma frigging die cos of this deadline.
So these 5 days i guess il be keeping busy.
But then after monday, i will literally just be dragging out time and waiting for America, cos i have NOTHING to do in the month between..
Seriously, nothing.
Apart from working Thurs, Fri and Sat at maxime..
I was meant to see TC, but yeah.. Thats not gonna happen, SO YEAH!
Imma be as bored as a bored nut in a shell!
BLEHHHH OH WELL.
Over and OUTTTTTTT
Sang yut fai lok, hopefully il see you soon!
On another note, my daddy left for his holiday today :(
I woke up bright and early to give him his letter!
Omgah, i miss him already :(
MY DADDYYYY :(
Mehh, i won't see him till 15th of August D=
THATS SO FAR AWAY WTFUDGEKINS
I already experienced inception!
AHA!
Cos basically.. I fell back asleep after my daddy left the house, and i dreamt that i dreamt about stuff, it was kinda weird :/
Ive kinda forgotten what the dream in the dream was about ><"
My memories not the best when i first wake up.. Awkss
Daddys flight shouldn't have left yet!
It leaves at 2:30 or something, meaning he has a bit less than 2 hours before he flies.
I wonder when hell read my letter..
On the plane like i told him to?
Or before?
LOL, he said i was being bare mysterious T_T
I was just tryna surprise him JEEEZ!
I HOPE HE HAS A SAFE FLIGHT AND JOURNEY! OH! AND UNCLE JUSTIN TOO!
I wonder if Justin gor gor has Skype :/
Hmmmm..
What makes it worse is that, I'm now all alone in this lonely house.
My summer was meant to be the best, TC was meant to be coming over all the time to keep me company.
But now, my summers been ruined.
Great.
I just read through our last 2 days worth of texts, and wed disagreed on some things, but not enough for like a fight or anything..
And he was kinda unelongated and just sending short texts.
But then he'd tell me he loved me, and that he loves me, and his last ever text to me was 'i love you.'
I dunno what I'm supposed to think :/
I don't understand :'(
Why tell me you love me when you're gonna do this.
I would've rather been prepared for it, i would've rather you didnt tell me you loved me and all that and i would've been prepared and known the reason.
Aish.
Bumhole.
ARGHHHHHHH, my mind is killing me :(
Slowly but surely.
Oh and to make things worse, i have a sore throat..
GREATTTTT!
My father goes on holiday, and ON THAT DAY, well, kinda night before ishh.. Cos it was at 3am.. MY THROAT STARTS HURTING.
SO NOW I HAVE A FEELING IMMA GET ILL, AND NOONES GONNA BE HERE TO LOOK AFTER ME :(
I haven't been properly ill since i got to uni, so it hasn't mattered, i haven't had to look after myself, only after TC when he got ill.
And now, i gotta look after myself.. and i dunno how to do that D=
OH NOOOOO :(
Waaaa
PLUS, i start work tomorrow at Maxime, and then i gotta frigging do my coursework in for monday, and the others are coming over on saturday, and WAAAAA D=
Imma frigging die cos of this deadline.
So these 5 days i guess il be keeping busy.
But then after monday, i will literally just be dragging out time and waiting for America, cos i have NOTHING to do in the month between..
Seriously, nothing.
Apart from working Thurs, Fri and Sat at maxime..
I was meant to see TC, but yeah.. Thats not gonna happen, SO YEAH!
Imma be as bored as a bored nut in a shell!
BLEHHHH OH WELL.
Over and OUTTTTTTT
♥
Tuesday, 19 June 2012
190612 ♥ x
I went to London with my daddy today, something that should've been really fun.
And i guess it was fun to an extent.
But then, most of the time, i could only remember when we had our trip to london, that day was so fun, and spending time together was the best.
Why would you give me so many memories to remember you by when you didnt plan on staying for a lot longer? :(
Why are you doing this?
I keep thinking about the letter from you, and it just doesnt make sense, you don't make sense :/
I know its not my place to say that, cos maybe to you, it made sense, but you should at least explain to me so that it makes sense to me as well, seeing as i was a part of this relationship..
AISHHHHH.
This is something you have to do you know..
You wouldn't do that to someone you truly loved..
Aish.
Over and OUTTTTTTT
And i guess it was fun to an extent.
But then, most of the time, i could only remember when we had our trip to london, that day was so fun, and spending time together was the best.
Why would you give me so many memories to remember you by when you didnt plan on staying for a lot longer? :(
Why are you doing this?
I keep thinking about the letter from you, and it just doesnt make sense, you don't make sense :/
I know its not my place to say that, cos maybe to you, it made sense, but you should at least explain to me so that it makes sense to me as well, seeing as i was a part of this relationship..
AISHHHHH.
This is something you have to do you know..
You wouldn't do that to someone you truly loved..
Aish.
Over and OUTTTTTTT
♥
Monday, 18 June 2012
180612 ♥ x
What were you thinking when you wrote that letter?
Were you upset?
Or were you happy that you could finally stop being with me?
Did you wonder whether you'd miss me?
Do you miss me now?
How could you even just go from <3 to
I don't really get it :/
I need my answers ><"
I really, really miss you.
Every night, i end up having a dream with you in it.
Why are you constantly on my mind?
Even whilst I'm trying to sleep, you're invading my mind.. EURGH.
Do you think about me whilst you're on the other side of the world?
Do you miss me at all?
Over and OUTTTTTTT
Were you upset?
Or were you happy that you could finally stop being with me?
Did you wonder whether you'd miss me?
Do you miss me now?
How could you even just go from <3 to
I don't really get it :/
I need my answers ><"
I really, really miss you.
Every night, i end up having a dream with you in it.
Why are you constantly on my mind?
Even whilst I'm trying to sleep, you're invading my mind.. EURGH.
Do you think about me whilst you're on the other side of the world?
Do you miss me at all?
Over and OUTTTTTTT
♥
180612 ♥ x
Why tell me that you'll love me always and forever, when you're just gonna stop texting the day after and then break up with me a week later, then up and leave for another country for two months?
Wassup with that?
What is going through your head?!
ARGHHH.
So much for 'i love you.'
Over and OUTTTTT
Wassup with that?
What is going through your head?!
ARGHHH.
So much for 'i love you.'
Over and OUTTTTT
♥
180612 ♥ x
You meant so much to me.
I would've done anything for us.
You led me to believe that you felt the same way.
Maybe i was wrong.
Over and OUTTTTT
I would've done anything for us.
You led me to believe that you felt the same way.
Maybe i was wrong.
Over and OUTTTTT
♥
180612 ♥ x
Right, slightly off topic today, well, not really off topic, cos i can write whatever i wanna, but yeah, slightly off the topic that I've been talking about recently!
My god, what kinda people are such bitches?
Why are you taking something thats painful to me, and spreading it around?
Does it please you?!
Why are you telling people who it has nothing to do with?
Eurgh, i knew you were horrible, from how you treated others, but I've never done anything to you.
I didnt steal your best friend okai, can you just get over it.
Fuck sake, how is it ANY of your business to tell other people about my stuff?!
How is it ANY of your business to use it as a casual conversation topic?!
ARGHHHH, i could stab you right now.
afaoabaoama
Goodbye.
Over and OUTTTTTTT
My god, what kinda people are such bitches?
Why are you taking something thats painful to me, and spreading it around?
Does it please you?!
Why are you telling people who it has nothing to do with?
Eurgh, i knew you were horrible, from how you treated others, but I've never done anything to you.
I didnt steal your best friend okai, can you just get over it.
Fuck sake, how is it ANY of your business to tell other people about my stuff?!
How is it ANY of your business to use it as a casual conversation topic?!
ARGHHHH, i could stab you right now.
afaoabaoama
Goodbye.
Over and OUTTTTTTT
♥
Sunday, 17 June 2012
170612 ♥ x
Happy Daddys Day to my lovely and amazing daddy!
Wakakaka all food paid for by me today!
SO LETS GO EAT.
Hurry up and do your poo T_T
Kekekekee >:]
I LOVE YOUUUUU, you're one in a billion ^^ <3
On another note, regarding another person, would you be upset if i forgot what you looked like?
Aish, i miss you.
Over and OUTTTTTT
Wakakaka all food paid for by me today!
SO LETS GO EAT.
Hurry up and do your poo T_T
Kekekekee >:]
I LOVE YOUUUUU, you're one in a billion ^^ <3
On another note, regarding another person, would you be upset if i forgot what you looked like?
Aish, i miss you.
Over and OUTTTTTT
♥
Friday, 15 June 2012
150612 ♥ x
This is quite strange, usually i do one big ass post about this kinda stuff..
But I'm kinda blogging as i go really..
Whenever i remember or think of something that i wanna blog, thats when i blog it down.
Ahhh, I'm glad i have you bloggy :)
Everyone always ends up leaving..
Ive come to the conclusion that it must be me *sighs*
Im rewatching Triumph In The Skies, someone just said that there are many paths that you can choose from in life.
That made me think that, i actually knew that, cos even though your path is planned out for you, there are many different decisions that are to be made during your lifetime.
But what i thought after i initially thought this was, i always thought that my path would have you in it.
I guess i was wrong..
Over and OUTTTTTT
But I'm kinda blogging as i go really..
Whenever i remember or think of something that i wanna blog, thats when i blog it down.
Ahhh, I'm glad i have you bloggy :)
Everyone always ends up leaving..
Ive come to the conclusion that it must be me *sighs*
Im rewatching Triumph In The Skies, someone just said that there are many paths that you can choose from in life.
That made me think that, i actually knew that, cos even though your path is planned out for you, there are many different decisions that are to be made during your lifetime.
But what i thought after i initially thought this was, i always thought that my path would have you in it.
I guess i was wrong..
Over and OUTTTTTT
♥
Thursday, 14 June 2012
140612 ♥ x
I wish you thought this way.
In fact, i thought you did, until..
Over and OUTTTTTTTTTTTT
♥
Wednesday, 13 June 2012
130612 ♥ x
Ahhh, just woke up about half an hour ago, waking up so late these days, its so bad ><"
And my hay fever is ridiculous, my eyes are itchy and I'm sneezing like crazy.
I have a runny nose and the gardeners frigging cutting the grass outside my room.
Oh bum holes.
Prepare for more sneezing Daphne!
I think i might just shut my window, i can feel a sneeze coming right now D=
Ive blogged quite a bit in the past 2 days!
Little by little i guess I'm just writing down what I'm unhappy about and how i feel.
So from this, you can probably guess whats happened Bloggy.
Lets face it, its not like its the first time.
But I'm staying strong ^^
Goshhh, its so hard finding the heart to put in my posts these days!
I gotta do all this scrolling on Facebook!
Unless I'm lucky, which means theres one near the top of the homepage!
Hmmm..
You know, i seriously thought we had something special, something that was gonna last forever.
The weathers so nice today, sunny, yet breezy, and thing is, i can't even enjoy it.
Like, i acknowledge it, but I'm not making plans to go out just cos of it.
Hey, at least theres no more pathetic fallacy which is good!
But yeah, something special, i really thought we had it.
I remember the last time i saw him, can't believe it was already a month ago.
Time sure goes fast.
I can't remember whether his mammy said he was coming back July, or end of July, i guess i was so shocked that day, that i kinda blocked everything out.
I swear my heart stopped :/
Well, anyways, heres to hoping that he finds someone:
nicer
kinder
smarter
prettier
skinnier
and just all round better than me.
It won't be hard.
But what will be hard, is finding someone who loves you more than i do, or did, i don't even know.
But yeah, that'll be hard, and pretty much close to impossible.
Over and OUTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT
And my hay fever is ridiculous, my eyes are itchy and I'm sneezing like crazy.
I have a runny nose and the gardeners frigging cutting the grass outside my room.
Oh bum holes.
Prepare for more sneezing Daphne!
I think i might just shut my window, i can feel a sneeze coming right now D=
Ive blogged quite a bit in the past 2 days!
Little by little i guess I'm just writing down what I'm unhappy about and how i feel.
So from this, you can probably guess whats happened Bloggy.
Lets face it, its not like its the first time.
But I'm staying strong ^^
Goshhh, its so hard finding the heart to put in my posts these days!
I gotta do all this scrolling on Facebook!
Unless I'm lucky, which means theres one near the top of the homepage!
Hmmm..
You know, i seriously thought we had something special, something that was gonna last forever.
The weathers so nice today, sunny, yet breezy, and thing is, i can't even enjoy it.
Like, i acknowledge it, but I'm not making plans to go out just cos of it.
Hey, at least theres no more pathetic fallacy which is good!
But yeah, something special, i really thought we had it.
I remember the last time i saw him, can't believe it was already a month ago.
Time sure goes fast.
I can't remember whether his mammy said he was coming back July, or end of July, i guess i was so shocked that day, that i kinda blocked everything out.
I swear my heart stopped :/
Well, anyways, heres to hoping that he finds someone:
nicer
kinder
smarter
prettier
skinnier
and just all round better than me.
It won't be hard.
But what will be hard, is finding someone who loves you more than i do, or did, i don't even know.
But yeah, that'll be hard, and pretty much close to impossible.
Over and OUTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT
♥