071009 <3 x

GUESS WHAT I LEARNT TODAY?!

I learnt, that girls are more complex than boys!

Basically, when everyones in the womb of their mummy, we all start off as girls!
NEVER KNEW THAT DID YOU?! :D
NO (Y) - humour me here <3

Anyway, then girls grow their brains, whilst boys grow their ball sacks.
And there we have it, why girls are more complex than boys! :D

Learn something new everyday dont we?!

I believe that you learn something new everyday, whether it may be something big, small, interesting, boring, good, bad, happy or sad, its still something new.
Talking about things that i believe, i also believe that everything happens for a reason.
Ive probably mentioned this before ^o)
Oh well, i dont care ^^

I BELIEVE THAT EVERYTHING HAPPENS FOR A REASON! :D

Thing is, i know i say that, but then what are the reasons?
There are so many things which you cant explain or describe, it just happens, even though you know it happens cos theres a reason...
Complicated much ><

And OMG!
On the train today, i got chat up by a 14 year old...
Oml...
He was like some little chav and asked me for my number
I was like... no sorryy.
Then his mates like bare asking me where i go to school.
What the actual? =s
THEIR BALLS HAVENT EVEN DROPPED YET D=

I was fucking scared.
No joke.
No lie.
He was chavvy.
And scary.
><

I went MANBY LODGE today, its an infant school for little kids =p
THEYRE SO CUTE
I have a favourite...
I know im not meant to ><
But i dooo =s
Hes called Joel
Hes so so sweet
He kept kissing my hand
AWWW
Then he licked my hand
Not so AWWW
BUT STILL
HES SOOO ADORABLEEEE
*Steals*

I got bare hw D=
Wasabi's telling me to do it...
Im like... NO :D
Hw is so gay, i swear =_="

Its gayer than Rex <3
Who can i say, has THE cutest voice EVER when hes sleepy
AWWWW, i wanted to hug him bare last night over the phoneeee (L)
But i cant cos his pointy penis would fuck me up (N)
That would be bad.

ANYWAYSS
I got dinner timeeee

Over and OUTTTT

♥

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061009 <3 x

Its the six.of.october.two.thousand.and.nine today!

School was okaii tbhh
Same old same old, got bare hw D=

Today, i was thinking, OMGSH!
YAYY!
Half term soon!
Then we have Christmas holidays!
But then i was like, OH SHIT, exams =_="
I am sooo not looking forward to them...

Back to a more serious subject.

Best friends...
Define to me best friends?

Theyre meant to be:

• Caring
• There for you
• Someone you can rely on
• Someone you can look up to
• Someone you trust
• Kind
• Wont betray your trust
• Honest

But now, i truly start to question those qualities, because recently, some best friends just:

• Betray your trust
• Lie to you
• Keep secrets from you
• Tell others to lie to you
• Tell others to keep secrets from you
• Go with "Dicks before chicks"
• Go with "Bros before hoes"
• Go with new ones instead of old ones
• Go with the more "popular" ones
• Ditch their friends for a party

But im not naming names yeah ^^

Honestly, is that what best friends are?
Because if they are, im not sure if i want best friends =s

Theres been the best friends who have never ever let me down.

These ones, im sure, will not do what others do:

• Kerry
• Kirsty
• Karmen
• Ethan

I love you guys and thank you <3

♥

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KELVIN - 041009 <3 x

Happy Birthday Kelvin Huynhnhnhnhnhnhnhnhn/HUHHHH/Hwin :D

Happy Birthday To You!
Happy Birhtday To You!
Happy Birthday Dear Kelvinnnn!
Happy Birthday To You!

生日快樂
希望你常常都很开心，没有什么问题
笑啊！ <3

Never forget to be you ^^

xxx

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031009 <3 x

Oh i just cant wait to be KING
Except for me, it would be QUEEN...

ANYWAY :D
Ive had a happy morning/afternoon
Karmen has been screaming down the phone cos of her "coon tails" SKEEN <3
Shes gonna cam with me after her hairs dried XD
Shes sucha gay (L)

Im meant to have done my Wilfred Owen Essay...
But i just really cba...
Cos tbh right, i got another 3 hours till im off to Kerry and Kirstys, surely i can do an essay in that time?
Oh god, now ive said that, i bet i cant ><
750 words...
FML
No one cares about the futility of a poem TBH =_="
Such gayss ><

I did my nails instead :D
Cos im that cool?
Why do hw when you can do your nail polish tbh =p

Im bare bored, like on msn, (I LOVE YOU GUYS WHO IM TALKING TO)
But im still bored...

JUST REMEMBERED ITS CHINESE MOON FESTIVAL TODAY!
中秋节!
YAYYY <3
大家吃一点月饼!

Anthony just told me that hes had like 6 mooncakes...
Wait no, he just told me that it was during the course of the past 2 weeks LOLL
OMG HIS MUM MAKES MOONCAKES! o.O <3
At mooncake festival in LDN XD
Trafalgar always has these obscene things doesnt it?

我不知道为什么，我开始喜欢在家里。
我可以做功课，可以和朋友谈话。
在家里，有一个很特别的感觉。
不能说出来。

今天是中秋节。
虽然我不喜欢吃月饼，但是我都喜欢中秋节的感觉。
大家都会很开心，没有问题。

我都希望没有问题，但是，不是容易啊！
有时，这个世界是很难， 但是，我们要面对。
很多人可以问，为什么要我不开心？
但是， 问题是可以帮我们的未来。

AFTER THAT! :D
Mehh, typing in chinese is fun.
All unchinese people wont get what i just blogged =p
I cba to translate ;)
Thats LONGGGG <3

Just know that issues arise and you face em
End of.

Over and OUTTT

♥

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02.10.09 <3 x

Carefree shizzle for me please.

I cant believe its the second.of.october.two.thousand.and.nine already...
Its gone so fast...
Soon, summer '10 will be here
Im not sure whether thats a good or a bad thing.
I need to contemplate that for a while.

I should be doing hw... but can i be fucked?
UMMM.... NO :D

I dunno
RARRRRR
Its all so much more difficult that it seems...
When other people see it, theyre thinking, my problems are so much more important atm, but if they were me, theyd understand.

Sometimes, i think i really need to follow my own advice.
I give all my friends advice, they come to me and im grateful that they trust me enough to do so.
And naturally, i try my hardest to help them, talk about it with them, give them advice on what to do...
But when it comes to my own relationships?
God... i get so confused so easily...

Its like, "Daphne, think about what you said to your mates, and imagine your your own mate..."
Doesnt work...
Im not joking, im actually deadly serious
My mates always say i give good advice and thank me.
Im so happy that theyre happy with the things i say and tell them, but then, with myself?
I get confused (cos i naturally get confused with everything anyways) but not only do i get confused, im lost.

Like i can literally not think, i just replay things again and again, over and over in my own head, and i just cant find a way out.
I dont know... usually, loasd of people are like, i give advice, so when i come to myself, its so easy
RARARARAR
Im so not like that.
With myself, i cant think.
I even have to imagine that im not me and imagine that im my friend...
Thats how stupid it is
How ridiculous =_="

I wish it was easier to figure things out for myself.
I wish it was as easy as it is when i help my mates.
They mean so much to me, i love being there for them because thats what they deserve, but its like, FUCK SAKESS, WHY NOT SAVE YOURSELF AS WELL YOU LOSER?!

Over and OUTTTT

♥

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29.09.09 <3 x

Ive loved these times...
During the past 3 months, its been the best time of my life
All the fun, the laughter, the sadness, the crying, the hyperness, the boringness...
Its been a real eye opener, to realise that there is no such thing as too many friends.
But that doesnt mean that i didnt love those times when i didnt have all these friends.
Now, to me, these people are important, whether im important to them, is something that il never know, but to me, they play a big part in my life.



And then theres these times, which i miss so so much.
What happened to them?
Were we young, innocent and carefree?
Or we were actually best friends then, when we trusted each other, when we laughed with each other, when we were friends with each other.

I dont know which one i want more.
To have friends who i now love so much, who give me so much fun, who give me all these times that i know il remember.
Or have friends who ive always loved so much, who have given me so m uch fun, who have fiven me all those times that i know il remember, but dont seem to give me all those times anymore.

I dont want to have to choose, because i can see the outcome.
But when you have to chose, which do you choose?
If im honest, i really doubt im gonna choose, i love them all too much for that.
And if im telling the truth, i can see what that will lead to.

But i can say, that there are certain people who things have obviously changed with.
I cant do anything about that anymore, i really cant.
Its not even that, its the fact that i miss people so much.

Thank you for giving me all these times.
I remember each and every one of them.

And thank you for making my summer amazing.
You mean so much to me.

Im sure you can see which one leads to which.

I just realised how it seems, that the first set of pictures are now all boys, and the second set of pictures were all girls.
That idea was so not meant to be put across.
Just go with what i said above, im all paranoid now, even though theres no need to be ><

Over and OUTTT

♥

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28.09.09 <3 x

Havent posted for a few days now...
In Critical Thinking, i thought about stuff
Arguing about law really wasnt getting into my head
I was just in my own world.
That always seems to be the easiest place to be.

What if i never really forgot it all?
What if i never really stopped?
What if i never really smiled about it?
What if i never really knew?
What if i am over it?
What if i am now happy?
What if i can smile about it?
What if i realise that its all over?
What if...

Dyu ever get that?
When you have loads of questions...
That you know even you yourself cant answer, let alone asking others for answers, not that theyd answer you anyway
Might as well not ask tbh...

I come across as such a confident person.
Loud, happy, smiling, carefree, laughing
But how deep does that all go?
I know i am all those things, otherwise i wouldnt go being them
But there are times when im not so loud, not so happy, and all the rest of it.

When you build up as a person whos all these things to others, when your not, they immediately wonder, and judge
Whereas if you arent normally this way, they couldnt care less and probably wouldnt notice.
Im described as selfless...
There are days when i need a break.

Of course, i love being so happy, but who doesnt have off days?
All the characteristics that i have when around other people, are ways of putting others before me.
I want them to have happy vibes around them.
If i didnt give a shit about you, i wouldnt even bother tryna hide my feelings
Allow burdening you with my problems.
But then if your like my best mates, i always spill out to you...

And on this subject ~~
Why are people so hot and cold?
One minute, theyll be talking to you like everything is bloody okai
Then the next, when somebody else is there, they dont even say a word to you.
Whats that all about?

I really dont get people
It really pisses me off.
And how, suddenly, they can jst have this "i dont give a shit" and "i dont really wanna talk to you" attitude?
What is that all about?!
OMGGGGGG
ARGHHHH
Okai, im okai :D

Over and OUTTTT

♥

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22.09.09 #2 <3 x

Define to me the word love
Everyones preconception is to think happiness, fate, destiny, being with that person all the time, not imagining themselves without them.
The truth is... Everyone sees love differently. Every separate person will have a different definition of love.

How many people do we know who say i love you and mean it?
There are obvioulsy friends who say it to you because they do love you, or just cos your friends
But there comes a time and a place, when you mean the words i love you.

Personally, i think that at this age, love is not something that many people are fortunate enough to experience.
Experiences, many people have, but love, not many people are lucky enough to have that.

Then there are the people who do experience it and wish that they never had!
No one gets their own way, whether its good or bad.

At the end of the day, when people are in a relationship, and say "i love you" do they mean it?
Because they could just be saying it.
The word love gets thrown around so much these days, that everyone just says it despite the effect of the word.
Love can give out happiness, sadness, misunderstanding and such.
Lots of people think it is just another word, but there is so much more of a meaning to it.

Obviously everyone thinks of love differently, some need a lot to fall in love, whilst others need a minimum amount to do the same.
Its not good OR bad, everyone has their own ways of handling things.

Ive realised lately, that other people around you influence how you feel a lot.
Like someone not letting you forget something, it can get really really tiring.
When you just begin to forget and you like it that way and your happy, they come back and just mess it all up again
Its as if they cant get over the fact that your getting over it...
Ironic as that sounds, some people just want attention
Its really quite immature

The way people can change, they think its for the better, when its not
Im not saying i havent changed, i wouldnt say that
Because i probably have as well, but not in the same way as they have
Whatever =_="

Over and OUTTTT

♥

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22.09.09 <3 x

SCHOOL D=
Fucking Wastemannnnn <3
At least daddys taking me to the train station, thats why im on here!
Otherwise id be out the house walking by now =_="
But then again its like RAWRRR, cos if he had said last night that he was gonna take me id have had an extra half hour sleep, dyu know how much that is?!
And noww, jaysussss =[
Allowww its coold (N)
But i can bet its gonna get all hot again and i have some fat hoodie on ><

Over and OUTTTT

No heart atm, cos my copy and paste wont work.... wow.. whatta gay

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20.09.09 <3 x

FREAKING BUSINESS HW! :@

Mehh, but anthony is helping me with it ^^
THANK YOU ANTHONY, I LAV YAOOO <3

Ethans sending me I'll be fine by stevie hoang
Can i say that that songs bare buff?
Courtesy of Rayray ;)

After this hw, i still got 2 pieces of english, maths, psychology...
I wanna kill someone :D But i dont hate anyone just that much yet ><

Business is bare long, but (8) I can try with a little help from my friends (8) quote sam and mark, so last year... or a few years ago XD

Shivanis birthday tomorrow <3
I really miss her ><
In fact, i miss all of them
I think day by day, i realise how much things have changed.
During summer, i realised that things had changed, but i was enjoying it.
I really was. I thought, ive made loads of new friends, and theyre all really nice, im really glad i met them.
Courtesy of Keiths boat party.

But it seems that these friendships arent gonna stay as good as i thought they would.
In Spain, me, Karmen and Carrie had already spoken about this kinda stuff, how things wouldnt be the same when we went back to school...
But i didnt expect them to change this much. Its like i dunno them anymore and its not like i cant handle it or deal with it, cos i can, but id prefer it not to happen.

There are the mates who have constantly been there for me, at this point id like to thank Kerry, Kirsty, Ethan and Karmen.
They have been there for me thick and thin.
I have never had a situation where i cant go to them.
There are the friends who have somehow betrayed me in sucha short amount of time.
Who knew eh...
But i guess everything happens for a reason...

There are friends who i wanna still be close with, but its not easy when theres no more trust.
Then theres the people who i dont really talk to anymore...
It really doesnt help that they really dont try, but then what does that show me? That i shouldnt waste my time?
But then thats my life isnt it, i always waste my time on people who i shouldnt.
What is wrong with me?!

OMG, MY NECKLACE IS IN THE WASHING MACHINE
SHIT MY BALLS D=
OMLLLL
Diewwwwwwww ><
So gayyyyy

One thing i wanna say to everyone, I miss you <3
If only people would realise that...

Friends who have been lost, Boys who have been gone, I miss you...

♥

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19.09.09 <3 x

Yesterday was like the best dayy XD
Rayray and Karmen came rounddd
Rayray got here first, then we had to go pick Karmen up from the bus stop, so theres us with our chavvy trackies, chavvy coats, odd uggs and dslr <3
Was so jokes walking down the road, it took us ages cos we got so side tracked, bare cam whoring and thattt ;)

Me and Karmen cam whored major and played on his phones whilst he was on msn.
There was also James Bond on TV which was kinda lolll, aint seen any of it in sooo long
We then made our beds and watched Jumper on the laptop, it was so good

Today, ive been having a catch up with Xav <3
Its been good, spoke to him about stuff, love him to pieces =]

Saw some things that i forgot existed...
Wish i hadnt seem them now...
Its really gay, some people are so gay.

There are so many barriers atm, lots of people not getting on, even more people confused, i really dont know what to think.
Boys are being difficult, theyre really confusing tbh, i hate it (N)

Rin on the Rox on youtube are soo good <3
I love their voicesss ^^

Talking to gor gor atm, talking about the shit thats magically reappeared =_="

Anywayss, im bare tireddd, fucking wanna read my book XD

Over and OUTTTT

♥

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16.09.09 <3 x

LOLLL AT ANDREWWWWW <3
Basically, were on video call right
And his dads on the sofa
So hes all like i cant speak
And im like.. SO WHATS THE POINT OF VIDEO CALL
So im just speaking AT him
And its kinda funny XD
Cos when he replies (for the short period that he did) he was like looking left and right at his dad before he answered XD
And then he just looked like an idiot in front of his dad LOOOOOOOOOOOOL (L)

My day has JUST GOT BETTER!
22:08 = THE TIME THAT ANDREW DIDNT LOOK AROUND BEFORE HE SPOKE TO ME!
HAHAHAHA <3
Im so cool (Y)
Bare blogging about this lame boyyy you knowwww =_="

ANDREW FALOMBO YOUR LAME, PUCK YOU :D

LAV YAOOO

♥

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REX <3 x

Rex smells ^^
Well not really.
Im talking to him on the phone atm, we were listening to him play guitar =p
He is GAYYYY and he is LAMEEEE
But he did make me very happy todayy =]
Todays been a good dayyyy
Me and rex played name that tune
Well not really, he played it and i guessed it
Even though i was really bad at it
BUT I GOT GIVEN A GOLD STAR FROM HIM! <3

IMMA NOT GONNA LET HIM KISS MEE!
IMMA RUNNN!
HEHEHEH! ^^

OVER AND OUTTT

♥

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15.09.09 <3 x

Allow some people, they really know how to piss me off.
Rex made my day, well, he made me smile after all that rainnn =[
Well, first lets talk about the rain first, then talk about Rex haha <3

THE RAIN DID NOT END FOR LKE HOURS
IT WAS PISSING IT DOWN AND IT WAS BLOODY FLOODING EVERYWHERE!

But its okaii
Anyways, back to rex, HE PLAYED GUITAR TO ME ON VIDEO CALL
What he doesnt know is that i recorded it :P
Hehehe, im so SLYYYY (L)
Not in a bad way... ^o)

And winngggg has made me happy, he was sweet today =]
I remember when we used to just diss each other?
I remember he used to diss me so much when we first started talking
He added me on msn and kept confusing me talking about his gf and i was like?
And then hes all confusing
And i was like =s
So i stopped talking to him for a bit
But now, hes sucha nice person =]
And im glad he added me
Even though i felt he was so randomised for ages <3

Karmen, i love her, i really do, she makes me world <3
End of.

The rain makes me think...
And seeing as we had about 3 years of itttt, i thought about a lot.
Why do people act the way they do?
Some people act nice, some act mean, some are real, some are fake, some befriend you and some betray you.
People can be soo two faced sometimes.
At school today, there were these two girls bitching about their mate in the common room...
Its like, at least not in the same fucking place!
Eurgh, people piss mee offf.
GAYSS

And my best mate has been backstabbing me behind my back to my other best mate? =s
And obviously im gonna hear from her
Goshhhh, so STUPID
Its like, you wanna hang out with us, and you complain that you dont hang out with us?
Then you dont come and hang out with us and then backstab me about being a bitch and you not liking me?
SO WHY DYU WANNA HANG OUT WITH ME?!
ARGHHHH

Overr AND OUTTT

♥

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13.09.09

我终于明白我在想什么。
我常常想他，有很多东西想对他说。
想说：我喜欢你
想说：我仇恨你
想说：你为什么要这么对我？我对你做了什么?
想说：我终于可以放下你。

Woww, typing chinese is bare long =p
Helping Karmen with her maths homework, well trying to anyways...
Checking if everyones free on the 。。。 December
BIRTHDAY PARTY DATE <3

I dunno what to blog today really
So much stuff has been heard by me
And im having trouble keeping it in
I will, no worries to everyone that told me stuff
But its just that imma like D=

People are having such issues atm
And just as i think im over it, something else comes up.
I mean... gimme a break, im just some teenager who needs some type of normality in her life amongst all the drama.
I have the friends who are there for me, and the family who support me
But everything else just confuses me... ><
Even friends are confusing me atm

Business hw = sucky
Friend problems = worse
Boy problems = bad
HELPPP D=

Ive been so distracted today
Well, ive been hyper most the day, till now
Ive been singing and dancing and jumping around
Everything, the full works
But then suddenly, it just all disappeared
The happiness just drained out
And now, im left with such a confused.com brain

I think i need to sleep
But i dont wanna yet
Still got stuff to sort out

But for noww, over and OUT

♥

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Karmen - 12.09.09 <3 x

Id like to say that today has been a good day, because it has been, but not everything has gone to plan.
I saw the best friends, Kerry and Kirsty.
Had a good time at their house, just like old times <3
I talk about it like it was years ago, but in fact, it feels like ages ago.
Not being at their house for just a few months, has shown me that so much can happen, in so little time, and the change is noticeable as HELL.

Lets start at the beginning:

I was woken up by daddy's coughing. SMOKING IS BAD FOR YOU (N)
He doesnt seem to grasp THAT POINT!
I fell back asleep and woke up at 12:30. Felt so good to finally have enough sleep for the past week =[

Made some breakfast and Karmen called me at around 1...
We had a 1.5 hour phone conversation.
I love her.
My best friend <3
She means so so much to me
Seeing her hurt like this just isnt fair.
If im already crying for her, then i cant begin to imagine how must she be feeling.

Then after that, i played piano for a bit.
The touchy subject i spoke about to Karmen made me a bit pissy, so that calmed me down, and seeing as i couldnt get through to Amy, i thought, why not?

Finally, got through to Amy, and we had a good chat, only for half an hour mind you, but it was good to catch up.
Told her about recent happenings, shes so mad.
I love Amy Liu <3
Shes an immense person and i love her to pieces.
No absolute jokes.

I dont think that anyone who hasnt been in Me and Karmens situations or similar ones, will know how were feeling
To be hurt by boys, friends, boyfriends, its all a lot more than can be seen by the eye.
People say: "let it go" and you cant because its a lot more easier said than done.
You cant just "let it go" because you have feelings. Its just not do-able.

Karmen is such a strong person, and she is so amazing
She helps me and i hopefully help her in return
When shes hurt, i know how shes feeling, ive been hurt before too and thats why its so much more painful to see her like this.
I can grasp why people act the way they do, it really annoys me, how their logic is so twisted and wonky =_="
Whenever i have a problem, i can automatically go to Karmen, she helps me throughout and she has never let me down.
We tell each other our secrets and we talk about things that no other people know about.
Even whilst she is going through all this SHIT, she still has the time and effort to say to me: "Daph, everythings going to be okai" when we both know, that it might not be okai till ages.

So on the phone today, we listened to each other, she told me what was up and i told her.
Its not easy getting it out, but it certainly helps when you have a best friend there to help you along the way.
She keeps her head held high for me, yet i know that she is hurting inside just as much as me and i cant do anything about that
All i can say is "its gonna be okai, trust me karmen" but theres an extent to which i can just say that
Because i know im not convincing her, but i do know that in time, itll all get better
If people wanna hurt her, then theyre expecting to hurt me too because i will not let them do that to people.

Peoples morals are so messed up these days, they dont seem to have any common sense on any matter...
Thats what really annoys me
Best friends are meant to be there for each other, the way Kerry, Kirsty and Karmen are for me
But some best friends have really lacked this responsibility lately.
They dont seem to realise that their opinion matters just as much, but when they make you lose trust in them, it really matters nothing at all and just makes you hate them.

What ive learnt from all of this?
Best friends may not be true friends.
Dont expect anything from anyone because that way, only youll get hurt more.

And some words to people who dont realise how much theyve hurt others:
Fuck off and stay outta our lives.

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11.09.09 <3 x

On video call to Kirsty
Aint been on ooVoo for too long, kinda miss it
Might start going on it again <3

Im doing my nail polish (L)
Good times
Im sucha perfectionist when it comes to them, just like karmen is as i discovered the day before spain XD

I SEE TREES OF GREEEN
RED ROSES TOOOOOO
I dont understand XANGA! D=
So imma givee uppp
AND I THINK TO MYSELFFFF
What a gayyy worlddd <3
Hehehe, kidding, worlds being good to me atm =p

PIANO SHEET MUSIC IS THE BEST <3
GOOD TIMESS (L)
Right.. i dont have much to say atm

Imma update laterrr <3

♥

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09.09.09 <3 x

Im talking to fanfan on the phone!
Hes bare helping me with my surds you know :D
Without him i would be so screwed in maths..
No jokes... ^o)
If i cant even do the first 2 days of work, then how am i gonna last the rest of the year?!
Im so screwed

Anyways... 5th day of school since the summer
Its been quite good tbh
Had a lotta homework in the past 2 days already
Its so weird doing work when i need to, instead of just randomly...
Not that i did work in the summer anyways

I had to print off the wilfred owen anthology which i had to make myself and research it all myself
Still have to collect the clothes and iron em
But il leave the ironing till tomorrow cos i dont have the time
Although having said that, il probably keep pushing it till saturday or something cos i have like 2 english presentations to hand in and a business presentation to do.
Its so GAYY
Allowww having two teachers for every subject cos that means we get double homework for EVERY SINGLE ONE!

WUTHERING HEIGHTS D=
AND NOW, i also have to read fucking atonement, but thats not till january...
OMDZ
I so dont wanna read thse books
We live in the bloody 21st century...
Not some next old school place you knowww =_="

I spent so long tryna find a new blogspot layout todayyy
Good times now that i got one (Y)
Its bare cute tbh <3
THE ICE LOLLIEEEE ^^
Anywayyy, im so confused about relationships and friendships and family... ><
Its like, when i tell you something that i trust you about, your not meant to tell someone else about ittt
And when i open up to you and talk to you for so long about similar situations to you, you dont fucking go fall for the same guy that i like so so much just cos youve gotten over your guy
I mean... wtf is up with that?!
FUCKING HELL
Its like being stabbed in the heart AGAIN and AGAIN
Friends...
Define friends to me... cos i really wanna know sometimes you know

Over and OUT

♥

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07.09.09 <3 x

OMG
Critical thinking today actually made me wanna commit suicide for the first time in my 16 nearly 17 years of life...
Todays been a pretty boring day...
Nothing special tbh

Lolling with andrew on webcam cos he says its painful to go cross eyed but he can take multiple hard punches to the stomach and not give two shits... ^o)

Hmmm ANYWAYS XD

School tomorrow
Double english
Double business
Free period
Psychology
Rawr rawr rawr

I had a nap today =]
Felt soo good
But it got really hot in my room =s
So GAYYYY

Me and andrew are talking fillipino :D
or PILLIFINO :D
Funny timessss

OVER AND OUT

♥

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05 && 06.09.09 <3 x

Yesterday was a pisstake
Came back to LDN
Blehhhh

Went shopping with RAYRAY
Hes an amazing person to shop with tbhh =]
He became 10% hotter with his black jacket on you know ;)
River Island and New Look lalala
THEY RAN OUT OF PANDA UMBRELLAS
dickheadsss =_="
was gonna punch that man i swear
got my money out and EVERYTHING

My mates didnt warn me ><
Like, i turned around and BAM
Diewwww
Said one of two things and i was gone...
Heard one or two things
And i was even more gone

Went to the buffet place with:
Bianca
Kacheok
Peter
Mai
Toowee
Anthony
Jimmy
Andrew
Abul &&
Rayray

Then we went back to traf
Where i kinda boyed...
Again... =s
I felt kinda bad afterwards
But i think its what was best for me
It made me feel shit, but better at the same time
So currently, its still 60%
Went up last night, but came back down this morning

Its cool
Seeing as school has started again, therell be less meetings
But imma miss everyone major amounts tbh
Once every 2 or 3 weeks is how much im gonna be seeing them ><

Anyway, after the boyage
Arm wrestling took place, haa, i lost to all but two people =_="
But i guess no one has to know :D
We had funny times with some gang bangs <3
Good times (Y)

Anyways, TODAY
I bought so much school stuff
Hahhaa
Got some fat Whsmiths bag cos APPARENTLY LDN DONT HAVE WHSMITHS
Jaysus you knowww =_="

Anthony tran scared the fuck outta me in there...
I was like wtf D=
I was looking for "WUTHERING HEIGHTS" (officially the most boring book ever)
And he just pops outta nowhere
PSHTTTTT <3

Schools gonna be BLEHH tomorroww
Allow waking up early ><

OVER AND OUTT
♥

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03.09.09 <3 x

Were down to 60%
Im getting there
I really am =]
But i can tell already, that when i see him again, its gonna go wayyy back up again
Thats whats wrong with me
I cant control it
I wish i could, cos i would give quite a few things to be able to do so...

Hmm...

Anywayyy
I havent blogged inna while!
Ive had stuff to blog about, but i just havent had the time to write anything... ><

So... on the 1st of September, 2009:

Keith, Kacheok, Andrew, Karmen, Anthony and RayRay came to my houseee
It was soo sooo fun
Had the best day of the month and it was so good to just chill out at home with a bunch of friends
So much cooking and stuff XD
Videos on fb, go watch em :D

2nd September, 2009:

Had to wake up bright and early
At the time of SEVEN AM
Enrollment day at Heathside which i am not attending (Y)
Good times, met some new people there and such
Thank god i had Kerry <3

3rd September, 2009:

First day of school at Heathside
Started at 11:15 am
Tomorrows back to normal time.
7 am start ><

Also my first day as a 6th former
Gosh it feels great <3
And it feels so good to be back at school strangely
If i was a few years younger, then id be dreading school
But ive been missing it up the the point where im glad im back at school
And its like, ive missed having a routine everyday and learning things which dont always entertain me.

Seeing boys around me all the time is WEIRD, cos ive been to a girls school for the past 5 years
Kinda makes you self concious sometimes
But whatever, i dont really care tbh
Allow having to choose clothes to wear in the morning though
GOSHH

Imma on fb atm
Corrr
And msn...
Im so sleepy though ><
I wanna sleep
I think i might go nap =]
Alfiepoo is lying to me ><
GRRR HIMMMM <3

Overr && Outttt Maxxieeee

♥

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25.08.09

Today, i realised something...
It kinda woke me up, not that i didnt realise it before
But today, it was just like a slap in the face

Ive always thought that everything happens for a reason, and that what goes around comes around, but a friend told me today that you can change what is planned for you.
I realised that hes right to a limit, but seeing as its planned for you already, then shouldnt you just do whats planned for you?

Even without someone for me to love in a relationship, there are my friends who i love
They have been there for me throughout...
When i was happy, when i was sad, when i was confused, and every other feeling there is to feel
I wish to thank them all for being so amazing and for just being a part of my life
I dont think they understand how glad i am that i met them and that i cant possibly explain in words or show in actions how much they mean to me

I can say without hesitation, that without them, i would not be the person i am today
I think that everyone changes everyday
Definitely getting older by the second...
Even if you cant feel it, you know that it is happening, and only when you stop to think about it, you dont realise it

Ive also come to realise that the ones who care about you are the ones who support you in everything you do, say or think
The ones who dont give a shit, are the ones you need to seriously reconsider

Earlier this year, i wouldnt think that it was possible to put your trust in people so easily
Last year, I trusted people and i got hurt for it, so i naturally thought that people just couldnt be trusted
I can admit that i trust people too easily, but i have met some amazing people who i have learnt to put my trust into because i know that they are different.

Thinking back to my dad saying that if i could pick it up, i could let it go, the percentage has gone down to 85%
I still stick to the fact that as long as hes happy, then so am i
My friends have said that is it worth living off his happiness?
That if hes never happy then neither will i be?
But i think that this isnt living someone elses happiness, its learning to do what you think right.

Id like to thank people who have stuck by me for so long...
They dont realise that theyre the ones that have made me gain strength in everything i do
When im hurt, they worry about me and stick up for me because thats what real friends do.

"Strangers stab you in the front, a friend stabs you in the back, a boyfriend stabs you in the heart, but best mates are ready with a knife to stab them mother fuckers right back"
Thats how best mates should be, maybe without the violence, but best friends provide you with protection, warmth, safety, trust, honesty and everything else.

"True friendship is like wetting your pants, everyone can see it but only you can feel the true warmth."
Dont go wetting your pants just for that please :D

Thank you to:

Kerry & Kirsty: For always being there throughout everything, without you, i would be incomplete, your not only my friends, your my sisters as well. I love you so so much.

Karmen: For being there, to make me laugh and help me through the tough times. I appreciate you and love you to the moon and back and around and around about infinity times.

Carrie: For being you. If you were any other way, it just wouldnt be the same. Finally converting to PROPER selflessness. I truly love you and you are amazing.

Bianca: For being so lovely to me. You always calm me down, say things that no one else can think of to say and you just listen to me speaking when im upset and you know that i dont really want you to say anything and that i just need comfort. I love you.

Ethan: For being absolutely immense. Suchan amazing person with the biggest heart ever. You are always there to stop my tears and no words can describe just how much i love you. You are so selfless and you hardly ever say a bad thing about anyone. Thank you.

Jordan: For putting up with me. You seem to always be there when im upset. You have never given up on me or left me on my own to cry. You are such a sweet person. Thank you and i love you.

Keith: For honestly being the best gor gor in this world. I am so glad i met you. You are THE great confucious, philosopher, "Dr Seuss". Bedtimes dont even exist with us, with our 10 minute goodbyes. Ily gor gor and thank you for giving me the best advice a gor gor could give. I know i havent known you for long, but your one of the people who i have started trusting a lot recently and you have that trustworthy feel about you. Thank you for everything.

Kacheok: For being my sai low. You are like no other. I am so happy that in my planned life, you are part of it. You are so so sweet, and you never say anything bad about anyone. When i say i dislike someone, you beg to differ and only say nice things. You are the other person who i havent known long and already, i trust you so much. You make me smile all the time just cos your so sweet and im THE proudest jeh jeh in the world.. 张翠娃 (L) 张嘉卓 End of.

♥

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23.08.09

Somethings wrong but i dunno what...
Ive only been awake for nearly 2 hours and im already like this
Fuck sake
I have actually had enough of this shit
All this confusion doesnt go well with me
43 days and counting
Over 6 weeks D=
Oml

90%
Its slowly going down
But NINETY PERCENT
Thats a load of CRAP, it really really sucks

Ive got a headache
Not cos of this
Just cos...
My eating and sleeping pattern is so messed
No jokes

Blehhhhh
Anywayyy

Cos Your The Words To My Story
A Song Written For Me
Playing, Somewhere, Somewhere
Cos Your The Words To My Story
The Only One For Me
And Your Somewhere, Out There, Out There
And Il Search For You
Search For You

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22.08.09

Somethings happened
I dont know how to take this as...
Good or bad
Blehhhh

Haagen Daaz has been eaten...
So i guess i can take it as bad? D=
Omgshhhhh

The levels sunk to 90% outta the 100% that was there before
On my scale i mean, not on the entire scale, that would be mental
I wanna rise to the surface quickly
Its driving me insane

My mates have a thing with mentioning him which starts me thinking ><
Cos usually, i wouldve forgotten till they mentioned it
During the day, i think about it about 7 or 8 times
Yeah, thats roughly it

Wow... Getta life =_="
That face is being used too much by me nowadays
It really depresses me..
Emo timesss ¬.¬
LOL

Today. all in all, was a good day though
Hung out with people who i lovee <3
And new friends obviously =]

Karmen.Luong
Bianca.Tam
Keith.Ly
Kacheok.Cheong
Ash.Man
Anthony.Tran
RayRay.Liu
Anthony.Lai
Blake.Fereirra
Kc.Cheong
Ky.Choo
Andrew.Hoang
Troy.Abey
Peter.To
Eric.Wong
Leo.Cheng
Andrew.P
Jimmy.Tham
Iona.Tamagotchi
Masa.Matsunaga
Joey.Huynh

♥

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20.08.09

Cried again ><
Why did that happen?!
It was meant to be "no crying from now on"

Ive realised spilling my emotions out on this isnt too good...
People might be reading this ><
Then i look seeleee D=

Whatever, my dad was so sweet to me today
Made me smile when i was crying
Said if i could pick it up, i can let it go
Whenever that happens itll happen
Lets hope its soon
I wanna be able to look back on the past as a happy memory and not something that makes me wanna cry...

He wanted company
Not that my company wouldve meant anything
Not that i mean anything
Just another player practice thing
But i cant let it go
Let it go...
Let it go...
Nope... not working =_="

Whatever
Its nearly 4 in the morning
Imma sleep it off cos allow all this thinking
What its doing to my brain...
It just isnt good

♥

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15.08.09 && 17.08.09

Rarrr
15th...
People really need to control their drinks
Its like... if you cant handle it then dont drink
But if you got your sorrows, then drown em

Thanks to Troy, Alex, Amin, Bianca && Reece for being there with me to help <3
And being there till the last minute
Thanks to Reece and Alex especially for being there even after the rest of us sobers left
Love you all to pieces
Janet and Tina... LOL at shoving drinks at me =p
But thank you for tryna help me get my moneys worth (L)

It was a good day actually you know...
The drinkup was fun(ny) But kinda blehhh at the same time ><
Saw some shit that i wouldve preferred not seeing
Sometimes, its better to not see some things than see them tbh

Feelings havent changed, wish that they would...
Its so difficult
People make it out to be so easy when they dont understand
But its so much easier said than done
They dont get the half of it
Until they understand, im so not taking their advice

17th...

Hmmm...
Today was an interesting day
No crying ftw <3
Thinking a lot though
I wonder if theres something that could just take out memory or thoughts from your head...
Cos i would be like.. #1 customer

Kerry and Kirsty came round
Played Big 2...
Added flicks onto it...
Allow it was painful If i get a swollen finger =_="
I SWEAR IMMA GET EM BACK XD

Had some drama today
Meh allowww

Masaaaa; itll all be okai :D
I promise you can be customer #2 for that device
Were not as lucky as Edward Cullen
But hes sexyyy ^^
Itll all get better given time
Sall gonna be good
Even though shit happens
Love you, and Keep strong

♥

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14.08.09

Today was a good day!
Well, when i say a good day, i mean normal/average
Couldve been better
But then what day cant be?

Well, if im completely honest, today wasnt average
It was kinda depressing
So much crying happened
In the middle of traf as well
Fucking hell
Its so stupid
Too much shit happening atm ><

Got bare boyed at a few points today
Dont understand some peoples logic
They either have no logic or are stupid/retarded

Omdz
I love Kacheok <3
Hes so sweet
Bought me a present from holiday!
Hehehe ^^
Was so scary on the train... =s
Was so glad when i got into dads car
Jeeeeez

♥

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13.08.09

IM BACK

Ive missed you guys sooo muchhh

Omgshh

Didnt even know it was possible

Its really weird how ive known some people for sucha short period of time and already, i miss them

Spain was so so good

Tanned like a tanned thing :D

Whatever that is...

Major tan lines though ¬.¬

So UNFAIR

RAWRRRRRRRRRRRRRR ^^

There was like no hot potential there... =_="

What happened to having hot guys there

Italy is the place to be for that <3

But seriously, miss everyone lots

But, im seeing you all tomorrow, so its okai ^^

Horrid Henry is on the tv XD

OML

With Karmen <3

Eating Tuna and Sweetcorn

YUM BUMS

Was bare beef in Spain with families... o.O

And now theres bare beef in England..

Fuck sake.. people just really need to stop tbh

Fish and chips for dinner?

Good times (Y)

Its so good to be back in England...

Karmens goldfish are really weird =s XD

Its weird not having the sun out all the time and being like 30 degrees everyday!

Weather was immense in Spain

Corrrrr (L)

So many asians in one group XD

SO GLAD IM BACKKKK <3

MISSED EVERYONE MAJOR AMOUNTS AND SEE YOU ALL SOON... being tomorrow :D

♥

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05.08.09

At Karmens!
Its bare good and that
Even though were hardly doing anything ><
SPAIN SPAIN SPAIN in than 14 hours...
OMGSHHH

I miss my mates already =[
Imma send them all a text before i fly :D
EVEN if i am running outta credit and minutes
Having 2 phones really doesnt help anything you knoww

Were about to order pizza
HAHAHA
MEAT COMBO
In some bare manly voice
ORIENTAL EXPRESS?! :D
LOL
Im really happy today

Still not over it, but il get there in my own time...
Own time being how long?
I have no idea... ><

Soon hopefully, or may be il just stay in the same spot and be like okaiii =_="
But as long as hes happy, then so am i =]
Thats all i want

My L.O.V.E

♥

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04.08.09 #2

Bah bah black sheep
Have you any wool?
Yes sir yes sir 3 bags full :D

Theres something wrong with me...
Well... not really ><
But i still think im silly
Somehow, i just cant let go Its so stupid of me
Im meant to be able to let go!
Why cant i?

STUPID STUPID STUPID
MUST.LET.GO =_="
Maybe after my holiday, il be like bleh and forget about it?
Please please lemme forget about it...

♥

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04.08.09

Its gonna be so good!
Spain i mean...
I still havent packed... o.O
But its cool, Kerry And Kirsty are coming round tonight
Imma miss everyone so so much =[
Apart from Carrie && Karmen obviously
Seeing as im going with them =]

There are paticular people who im gonna miss more than others
But everyone gets that right?
I feel like sucha loserrr
Lamoooo
Stupid twatttt
Rarrrr
Dunno what to dooo

The holiday will relieve all this shizzle
(Y)

K.L, K.L, B.T, E.W, J.F, K.C, K.H, A.H, K.L, J.T, R.L, A.T, A.M
Gonna miss you all so so much

♥

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03.08.09

shit shit shit

fucked up day
so confused
i dont understand?

im in a good mood :D
no worries
i just dont understand some people
they confuse me to hell and back
why torture me this way?
JAYSUS =_="

and seriously, what is everyones problem?
you really need to calm yourself
its like...
BREATHEEEEE
dont fucking do stupid shit
its soo gayy i swearrr
starting on shit
DIEW

My L.O.V.E

♥

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02.08.09

Tomorrows the day...
Im still so unsure of what to think

Anyway...

Back to today
Its been a good day
Sat around at home all day... boring, but whatever

After yesterday, im really confused?

Im contemplating whether to be worried or not
Its weird that im not actually that nervous
Is that wrong?

Oh man...
Im getting butterflies thinking about it

4 days till Spain

♥

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