220111 ♥ x

Wouldve been 4 months today.
But its not.
Same day Grandma C is arriving.
I hope he has fun :)
Happiness is key!

Talking of happiness is key, i should probably start following my own preachings...
Lool ^^
Ive been moping around, being upset, over what is a tiny ass matter compared to what my friends are experiencing.
They have problems that are so much more major in comparison to mine and yet, im crying to them?
Seriously?
I think thats probably my main freaking issue, hahaa ^^

Sure, my hearts been broken, but in crying over it, ive broken my friends hearts, my familys hearts, etc.
I have GOT to stop hurting them.
Them seeing me cry hurts them.
I cant help crying, honestly i cant, but i have got to stop crying in front of them.
I have got to stop being so selfish.
Because T ending it, was probably a good decision on his part, not on mine, but i still respect him, therefore, i have to respect his decisions right? :)

So to all those people ive hurt, in hurting myself, im sorry.
I know saying sorry isnt gonna make you feel better, because over the past week, all ive done is confuse myself, confuse you, and stay confused.
I know i havent been myself lately, im usually mostly always smiling, and this week has definitely not been that.
But i know what i have to do.
Chin up, smile :)

Il still keep the memories, theyre the only things i have left of him atm cos, well, hes trying to help me get over him, which isnt the best way possible, but R says its boy logic.
Boys logic sucks.
But if it works for him, then il have to accept it.

K says that hes not talking because he knows i dont have a fine line between friendship and flirty friendship.
There are guys that i dont flirt with, a lot of them in fact.
But the guys i do flirt with, i dont like any of them in that way...
So surely, i do know the line between friendship and love.
Because if i didnt, id love every guy i flirted with right?
So just because i flirt with him, it doesnt mean that i cant get over him, im just like that with everyone, even he knows that.

Anyway, what im tryna say is;
I have to move on.
Ive GOT to move on.
Or il just end up having the people that i love, hate me.
Because im burdening them all with this crazy issue of mine.
Its been hard moving on, but im sure itll get easier.
In time...
I cant think of what else to do, theres nothing else i can do.
I still think of him.
But it doesnt matter now.
My feelings have got to stay locked in their box in the back of my heart now.
Kaiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii ^^ <3

Over and OUTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT

♥